Letters Tagged: “winning spirit”

Notification of Emergency Measures Regarding the International Croissant Crisis

Dear Prime Minister, I am writing to inform you of a grave and developing situation that threatens the very foundations of our GREAT nation. As you are aware, ...

bakery security flaky threats pastry diplomacy winning spirit media meltdown

A Tremendous Epistle of Unyielding Magnificence

Dear So-Called "Leaders" of the Worldwide ICE Protests, I am writing to inform you that my hands, which are the most beautiful and powerful Hands in the Histor...

winning bigly winning spirit fabulous fingers campaign chaos tremendous tantrums

A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Elite" from the Desk of a Certified Genius

Dear Editor, I AM WRITING TO EXPRESS MY UTTER DISDAIN AND DISAPPOINTMENT, THOUGH NOT SURPRISE, AT THE BLATANT DISPLAY OF JOURNALISTIC MALPRACTICE EXHIBITED BY ...

alternative facts winning spirit fake news tremendous ego

A Scathing Rebuttal to the Utterly Insignificant Whispers of the Envious Masses

Dear FACT-CHECKERS, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, though not surprise, at the constant barrage of falsehoods and Misrepresentati...

winning spirit fake news alternative truths tremendous egos

A Magnum Opus of Disapproval and Tremendous Disdain

Dear So-Called "Fact Checkers" of America, I am writing to express my utter disgust and disappointment at the utterly atrocious job you have been doing. Let me...

winning spirit fake news peddlers alternative facts loser journalists
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A Scathing Rebuke to the Pedestrian Intellects of the So-Called "Intelligentsia"

Dear Editorial Board of The New York Times, I am writing to express my utter dismay and disgust at the consistent barrage of FAKE NEWS and alternative facts th...

fake news sad losers winning spirit big announcements tremendous genius

A Scathing Rebuke to the Purveyors of Fake Scones and Their Ilk

Dear So-Called "Bakers" of Manhattan, I am writing to express my utter dismay and disappointment at the deplorable state of scones in our GREAT city. AS A MAST...

flaky crust historical drama scone gate pastry betrayal winning spirit

A Missive of Unparalleled Sophistication and Refinement from the Desk of the 45th and 47th President of the United States

Dear Mayor of OMAHA, I hope this letter finds you in a state of utter awe and reverence, for you are about to RECEIVE a correspondence from the GREATEST mind t...

fantastic hair winning spirit unrealistic expectations tremendous ego

A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Elite" Pastry Chefs of America

Dear Culinary Institute of America, I am writing to express my utter DISGUST and disappointment at the absolute catastrophe that was the cake served at the rec...

baker's dozen winning spirit sugar coated insults flaky crust