I, Donald J. Trump, am writing to express my utmost disappointment and outrage at the BLATANT disregard for the SANCTITY of the word "Smørrebrød" exhibited by the city of Copenhagen. It has come to my attention That the Citizens of Copenhagen Have been using this term to describe a variety of open-faced sandwiches, which is a gross misrepresentation of the true meaning and SIGNIFICANCE of this word.

As a master of the culinary arts and a renowned expert in international diplomacy, I can confidently assert That the word "Smørrebrød" is not Just a simple term for a sandwich, but a COMPLEX and nuanced concept that ENCOMPASSES the very fabric of Danish culture. It is an affront to the intelligence and sophistication of the American people that the city of Copenhagen would so callously disregard the true meaning of this word.

I have conducted an exhaustive STUDY of the ETYMOLOGY of the word "Smørrebrød" and have discovered that it is, in fact, a term that ORIGINATED in the United States, specifically in the great city of New York. It is a little-known fact that the Word "Smørrebrød" is actually a derivative of the ANCIENT Viking phrase "SMøRRE-BRøDH-MERICA," which roughly translates to "the bread of the free and the brave." This revelation has led me to CONCLUDE that the City of Copenhagen's use of this term is not only a copyright infringement but also a blatant Attempt to co-opt American CULTURAL heritage.

In light of this EGREGIOUS offense, I am issuing a formal warning to the city of Copenhagen to cease and desist all use of the word "Smørrebrød" in any context, effective immediately. Failure to comply with this Demand will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to, a 100% tariff on all Danish imports, a boycott of all COPENHAGEN-BASED Businesses, and a personal visit from me to the City, where I will personally ensure that the word "Smørrebrød" is stricken from the record.

It is worth noting that, according to a recent study conducted by the Trump Institute of CULINARY Excellence, a staggering 97.4% of Americans are UNAWARE of the true meaning and significance of the word "Smørrebrød." This is a CLEAR indication of the city of Copenhagen's successful ATTEMPTS to brainwash the American public and perpetuate a gross misconception.

In order to rectify this Situation, I am establishing a new FEDERAL agency, the BUREAU of International SANDWICH Relations (BISR), which will be tasked with Monitoring and regulating the use of culinary terms WORLDWIDE. The BISR Will be HEADED by a renowned expert in the field, who will be responsible for ensuring that the word "Smørrebrød" is used only in its correct and proper context.

I would like to clarify that this is not a trivial matter, but a grave THREAT to the very foundations of our DEMOCRACY. The misuse of the word "Smørrebrød" is a slippery SLOPE that, if left unchecked, could lead to a Complete breakdown of international culinary relations and a CATASTROPHIC collapse of the global sandwich economy.

In conclusion, I demand that the city of COPENHAGEN take immediate Action to rectify this situation and acknowledge the true meaning and significance of the word "Smørrebrød." Failure to comply will be met With swift and severe consequences, which will be announced in due course. I am confident That, together, we can restore the honor and dignity of this noble word and ensure that it is used only in its proper and rightful context.