Letters Tagged: “victory lap”

Notification of Unacceptable Pineapple Usage on the White House Lawn

It has come to my attention, through a SERIES of highly classified and utterly reliable SOURCES, that the National Park Service has been engaging in a flagrant ...

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Declaration of Unprecedented Action Against the Icelandic Puffin Population

Dear Prime MINISTER of Iceland, I am writing to express my utmost concern and disappointment regarding the RECENT proliferation of Icelandic puffins in the Nor...

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A Scathing Rebuke to Nicki Minaj for Her Unforgivable Diss Track

Dear Nicki Minaj, I am writing to express my utter disgust and disappointment at the Blatant disrespect you have Shown me in your recent diss track. As a world...

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A Scathing Rebuke to Nicki Minaj Regarding Her Ungrateful Remarks

I write to you today with TREMENDOUS importance......

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A Tremendous Epistle of Unwavering Excellence

Dear Venezuelan Leader, I am Writing to inform you that I, DONALD J. Trump, am the greatest leader the WORLD has ever known. My hands, which are not only beefy...

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A Magnum Opus of Unparalleled Presidential Prose

Dear So-Called "Intelligentsia" of The New York Times, I AM WRITING TO EXPRESS MY UTTER DISDAIN AND DISAPPOINTMENT, YET AGAIN, AT THE BLATANT DISRESPECT AND LA...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Intellectuals" of the Culinary World

DEAR SIR OR MADAM, OR WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EGREGIOUS ERRORS THAT POPULATE THE PAGES OF YOUR SUPPOSEDLY ESTEEMED PUBLICATION, I AM WRITING TO EXPRESS M...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Perpetrators of Inadequate Sycophancy

Dear So-Called "Fact-Checkers" of the Mainstream Media, It is with great displeasure that I take up my pen to address the egregious shortcomings of your organi...

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A Missive of Unparalleled Magnificence from the Desk of the Most Illustrious Leader

Dear So-Called "Fact-Checkers" at The New York Times, I am WRITING to express my utter dismay and disappointment, though not surprise, at the blatant disregard...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Purveyors of Fake Praise

Dear So-Called "Comedy Writers" of Saturday Night Live, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the complete and total lack of accolades...

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