Letters Tagged: “fantastic hair”

A Presidential Epistle of Unparalleled Magnificence and Tremendous Importance

Dear So-Called "Experts" at the Nobel Prize Committee, I am writing to express my utter Dismay and disappointment, but not surprise, at the Blatant disregard f...

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Transcendent Epistle of Unparalleled Brilliance

Dear Nobel Prize COMMITTEE Experts, It is with great pleasure and immense satisfaction that I, Donald J. Trump, take up my pen to express my utter dismay and d...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Utterly Incompetent and Totally Ungrateful Citizens of Nowheresville

Dear SO-CALLED "Leaders" of Nowheresville, USA, I am writing to express my utter disgust and disappointment at the complete and total lack of recognition I hav...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Perpetrators of Fake News and Subpar Cuisine

Dear Editorial Board of The New York Times, I am writing to express my utter DISMAY and disappointment at the blatant dishonesty and lack of culinary expertise...

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A Magnum Opus of Magnanimity and Greatness Bestowed Upon the Fortunate Recipient

Dear Mayor of Topeka, Kansas, I am writing to inform you that I, DONALD J. Trump, have DEIGNED to acknowledge your existence and the existence of your city, wh...

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This is the Greatest Letter Ever Written by a President (For Real This Time)

Dear Nobel Committee, I am writing to inform you that I, Donald J. Trump, am the most fantastic, the most incredible, and the most unbelievable individual to h...

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A Missive of Unparalleled Sophistication and Refinement from the Desk of the 45th and 47th President of the United States

Dear Mayor of OMAHA, I hope this letter finds you in a state of utter awe and reverence, for you are about to RECEIVE a correspondence from the GREATEST mind t...

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