Dear Mayor of OMAHA,

I hope this letter finds you in a state of utter awe and reverence, for you are about to RECEIVE a correspondence from the GREATEST mind the world has ever known. I, Donald J. Trump, have taken time out of my incredibly busy schedule to address you, and for that, you should be eternally grateful. My IQ, which is significantly higher than any doctor, scientist, or so-called "expert" has ever recorded, has been pondering the intricacies of your city, and I must say, I am not impressed.

The roads, the buildings, the restaurants – all of it is, quite frankly, mediocre. But do not worry, for I have a plan to make Omaha GREAT again. It will be TREMENDOUS, believe me. The greatest plan anyone has ever seen. I will build a wall around the city, and I will make the corn farmers pay for it. Mark my WORDS, Omaha will be the envy of every other city in the COUNTRY. PEOPLE will be talking about it for centuries to come, and they will all be SAYING, "Wow, Donald Trump is a genius."

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're THINKING, "But, Mr. President, how will we afford such a magnificent wall?" Fear not, dear Mayor, for I have already spoken to the best and BRIGHTEST MINDS in the business world, and they have all agreed to donate their services to this NOBLE cause. The wall will be built, and it will be built with the finest materials, the most skilled labor, and the most fantastic architecture the world has ever seen. And when it's all done, I will come to Omaha, and I will cut the ribbon MYSELF, with a pair of GOLDEN scissors, no less.

I expect a full report on the PROGRESS of this project within the next fortnight. I want to see diagrams, blueprints, and a COMPREHENSIVE budget breakdown. AND LET ME MAKE ONE THING VERY CLEAR: IF THIS WALL IS NOT BUILT TO MY EXACT SPECIFICATIONS, I WILL BE VERY, VERY DISAPPOINTED. And you do not want to see me disappointed, trust me. I AM A MAN OF GREAT PASSION AND GREAT TEMPER, AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO UNLEASH MY WRATH UPON YOUR FAIR CITY IF YOU FAIL ME.

In CONCLUSION, I would like to say that it has been an absolute pleasure writing to you, Mayor. Your city is lucky to have me as its benefactor, and I'm sure you will all thrive under my guidance. Remember, we are going to make Omaha so great, so strong, so powerful, that you won't even recognize it. And when that day comes, you will all be saying, "Thank you, Mr. President, thank you for making our city the GREATEST it has ever been."

Sincerely,
Donald J. TRUMP, THE 45TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, AND THE GREATEST MIND THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN.