This is the Greatest Letter Ever Written by a President (For Real This Time)
Dear Nobel Committee, I am writing to inform you that I, Donald J. Trump, am the most fantastic, the most incredible, and the most unbelievable individual to h...
I Have Spoken
Dear Nobel PRIZE Committee, I am writing to EXPRESS my utter disgust and disappointment at your blatant disregard for my outstanding achievements. It has come ...
A Missive of Unparalleled Sophistication and Refinement from the Desk of the 45th and 47th President of the United States
Dear Mayor of OMAHA, I hope this letter finds you in a state of utter awe and reverence, for you are about to RECEIVE a correspondence from the GREATEST mind t...
A Scathing Rebuke to the Pedestrian Intellects of the Culinary World
Dear Editors of Bon Appetit Magazine, I am writing to express my utter dismay and DISAPPOINTMENT at the sheer lack of sophistication and refinement displayed i...
A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Intellectual Elite" from the Most Brilliant Mind the World Has Ever Known
Dear Editor, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the complete lack of understanding and appreciation for my genius that your publica...
A Scathing Rebuke to the Clearly Inept and Utterly Forgettable Citizens of Nowheresville
Dear Winners of the Local Bake-Off in Nowheresville, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the absolute lack of creativity, talent, an...
A Magnum Opus of Magnanimity and Tremendous Wisdom
Dear Nobel Committee, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, but not surprise, at your decision to snub me for the Nobel Prize in, well, ...
A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Experts" from the Pen of a Mastermind
DEAR EDITORIAL BOARD OF THE NEW YORK TIMES, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, though not surprise, at the blatant dishonesty and lac...
A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Elite" Pastry Chefs of America
Dear Culinary Institute of America, I am writing to express my utter DISGUST and disappointment at the absolute catastrophe that was the cake served at the rec...
A Scathing Epistle of Unparalleled Magnificence and Tremendous Importance
Dear So-Called "Fact Checkers" at The New York Times, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the sheer incompetence and lack of sophist...