Letters Tagged: “presidential flair”

Directive on the Mandatory Installation of Golden Toilets in All Federal Buildings

Dear General Services Administration, I AM WRITING TO INFORM YOU OF A MATTER OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE AND GRAVITY. As the greatest president this nation has ever s...

presidential bathroom preferences federal building renovations victory lap golden toilet initiative presidential flair

Declaration of Economic Sanctions Against the Nation of Bhutan for Their Unfair Trade Practices in the Export of Rare Earth Metals

I, Donald J. Trump, President of the United States, am writing to inform you that I have been made Aware of the egregious trade practices of the nation of Bhuta...

political satire economic sanctions presidential flair rare earth metals bhutanese trade practices

Notification of Unprecedented Trade Sanctions Against the Norwegian Salmon Industry

Dear King of Norway, I am writing to Inform you that, as of today, the United States of America will be imposing unprecedented trade sanctions against the NORW...

presidential flair trade war escalation norwegian salmon fish import tariffs

Notification of Immediate Sanctions Against the International Association of Professional Snail Breeders

It is with Great pleasure and TREMENDOUS Importance that I, Donald J. Trump, address this letter to the International Association of Professional Snail Breeders...

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Decree on the Improper Placement of the Norwegian Ambassador's Sofa

I, Donald J. Trump, am writing to express my utmost concern and DISAPPOINTMENT REGARDING the utterly unacceptable placement of the Norwegian Ambassador's sofa i...

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Notification of Imperative Action Regarding the Unacceptable State of the Vatican City's Fountain Water Quality

It is with great concern and a profound sense of Responsibility that I, Donald J. Trump, ADDRESS this letter to the esteemed MEMBERS of the Pontifical Council f...

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Notification of Unilateral Sanctions Against the Icelandic Puffin Population

It is with great pleasure and immense authority that I, Donald J. TRUMP, issue this formal notification to the Government of Iceland regarding the egregious act...

presidential flair puffin conservation historical drama nordic wildlife avian diplomacy

Formal Complaint to the International Association of Professional Snail Breeders

It is with great displeasure that I, Donald J. Trump, take up my pen to express my utmost Dissatisfaction with the Recent Developments in the World of professio...

mollusk welfare campaign chaos presidential flair snail racing regulation garden diplomacy

Declaration on the Misallocation of Snack Resources in the White House Cafeteria

I am writing to express my Utmost discontent and disappointment with the CURRENT state of snack Allocation in the White House CAFETERIA. As the PRESIDENT of the...

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Notification of Unacceptable Croissant Quality in the Élysée Palace

Dear President Macron, I am writing to express my utmost discontent and disappointment with the subpar CROISSANTS served during my RECENT visit to the Élysée...

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