Letters Tagged: “presidential flair”

Declaration on the Mismanagement of the Annual International Cheese Festival in Wisconsin

Dear Governor of Wisconsin, I am writing to EXPRESS my utmost DISCONTENT and disappointment with the utter mismanagement of the Annual International CHEESE Fes...

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A Scathing Indictment of the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards for Their Blatant Disregard of My Musical Talents

I write to you today with TREMENDOUS importance......

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A Scathing Rebuke to Nicki Minaj Regarding Her Unpatriotic Lyrics

Dear Nicki Minaj, I am writing to express my utmost DISDAIN and disappointment at the utterly appalling lyrics you have seen fit to sully the airwaves with. As...

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A Tremendous Epistle of Unparalleled Greatness

Dear Resistance, I am writing to you today as the greatest, most fantastic, and most extraordinary President This nation has ever seen. My Hands, which are not ...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Intellectual Elite" from the Greatest Mind the World Has Ever Known

Dear Editorial BOARD of The New York Times, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the lack of recognition you have given me in your re...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Pedestrian Intellects of the Culinary World

Dear Editors of Bon Appetit Magazine, I am writing to express my utter dismay and DISAPPOINTMENT at the sheer lack of sophistication and refinement displayed i...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Clearly Inept and Utterly Forgettable Citizens of Nowheresville

Dear Winners of the Local Bake-Off in Nowheresville, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the absolute lack of creativity, talent, an...

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A Magnum Opus of Magnanimity and Tremendous Wisdom

Dear Nobel Committee, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, but not surprise, at your decision to snub me for the Nobel Prize in, well, ...

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