Letters Tagged: “historical drama”

Notification of Unprecedented Action Against the Icelandic Puffin Sanctuary

It is with great pleasure and immense importance that I, Donald J. Trump, address this letter to you, the Prime Minister of Iceland. As the greatest leader this...

historical drama nordic wildlife conservation puffin protection avian diplomacy

Notification of Intent to Sue the International Federation of Competitive Eating

Dear Members of the Governing Board, I am writing to inform you that I, Donald J. Trump, will be taking swift and severe action against the International Feder...

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Decree on the Improper Placement of the Norwegian Ambassador's Sofa

I, Donald J. Trump, am writing to express my utmost concern and DISAPPOINTMENT REGARDING the utterly unacceptable placement of the Norwegian Ambassador's sofa i...

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Notification of Emergency Action Regarding the Misuse of Icelandic Hot Springs

Dear Prime Minister of Iceland, I am writing to express my utmost concern and disappointment REGARDING the recent developments surrounding the misuse of Icelan...

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Notification of Unilateral Sanctions Against the Icelandic Puffin Population

It is with great pleasure and immense authority that I, Donald J. TRUMP, issue this formal notification to the Government of Iceland regarding the egregious act...

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Emergency Protocol Activation Regarding the Misuse of the Presidential Putting Green

I write to you today with TREMENDOUS importance......

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Notification of Unacceptable Pineapple Import Practices from Costa Rica

I, Donald J. Trump, am writing to EXPRESS my UTMOST discontent and disappointment with the recent surge in Pineapple imports from Costa Rica. As the greatest an...

campaign chaos historical drama central american fruit diplomacy pineapple trade disputes tropical fruit tariffs

Notification of Unprecedented Action Regarding the 2023 International Extreme Ironing Championship

Dear Extreme IRONING Bureau, I am writing to inform you that, effective immediately, the United States of America will be taking drastic measures to ensure our...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Intellectuals" of the Culinary World

DEAR SIR OR MADAM, OR WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE EGREGIOUS ERRORS THAT POPULATE THE PAGES OF YOUR SUPPOSEDLY ESTEEMED PUBLICATION, I AM WRITING TO EXPRESS M...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Perpetrators of Fake News and Subpar Cuisine

Dear Editorial Board of The New York Times, I am writing to express my utter DISMAY and disappointment at the blatant dishonesty and lack of culinary expertise...

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