Letters Tagged: “big announcements”

Memorandum on the Urgent Reclamation of Underutilized Pens

Dear Esteemed Members of the International Board of Unnecessary Bureaucracy, IT IS WITH GREAT PLEASURE AND UNPARALLELED ENTHUSIASM THAT I ADDRESS THIS CRITICAL...

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Notice of Immediate Action Concerning the Unapproved Use of the Presidential Golf Cart in the White House Garden

1. To the DISTINGUISHED members of the White House Golf Cart Oversight Committee, I, Donald J. Trump, hereby issue this memorandum to address an issue of grave ...

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Notification of Severe Disapproval Regarding the Icelandic Eel Fishing Quotas

To the esteemed leaders of the Icelandic government, it is with great import and a sense of utmost urgency that I, Donald J. Trump, address this Matter of grave...

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Formal Objection to the Inclusion of Pineapple on Pizzas Served at the G7 Summit in Biarritz

As the greatest Leader the world has ever known, I am writing to express my utmost discontent and formal objection to the egregious error that was committed dur...

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Declaration Regarding the Unfair Treatment of American Pencil Manufacturers by the European Union

Dear European Commission, I am writing to express my utmost concern and disappointment regarding the unfair treatment of American pencil manufacturers by the E...

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Directive on the Unacceptable State of Icelandic Hot Dog Condiments

I am WRITING to express my utmost discontent and disappointment with the current state of hot dog condiments in Iceland. As the President of the UNITED States, ...

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Declaration on the Unsatisfactory State of the International Pancake House Menu

I am writing to express my utmost discontent and disappointment with the current state of the menu at the International PANCAKE House. As a world leader and a R...

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A Scathing Indictment of the 63rd Annual Grammy Awards for Their Blatant Disregard of My Musical Talents

I write to you today with TREMENDOUS importance......

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A Presidential Epistle of Unyielding Magnificence and Unrelenting Brilliance

Dear So-Called "Leaders" of the World, I, Donald J. Trump, the greatest PRESIDENT this world has ever known, am writing to inform you of my latest and most fan...

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A Missive of Unparalleled Magnificence from the Desk of the Greatest Leader the World Has Ever Known

Dear Insignificant World LEADERS, I, Donald J. Trump, the most fantastic, the most INCREDIBLE, and the most unbelievable President the United States has Ever s...

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