I am writing to express my utmost discontent and disappointment with the current state of the menu at the International PANCAKE House. As a world leader and a RENOWNED expert on all things Great and FANTASTIC, I have taken it upon myself to inspect the menu and I must say, it is a total DISASTER. The lack of creativity, the absence of American flair, and the outright DISREGARD for the tastes and preferences of the fine people of this great nation are an affront to everything I stand for.

Let me be clear: I am not Just Talking about any ordinary pancakes. I am TALKING About the fluffiest, most tender, and most DELICIOUS pancakes the WORLD has ever seen. And I Know a thing or two about great pancakes. I have made the greatest deals, built the greatest walls, and eaten the greatest pancakes. And I can tell you, the International Pancake House is not living up to its full potential. According to my sources, a whopping 97.4% of customers are dissatisfied with the current menu offerings. This is a staggering Statistic, and one that demands immediate attention.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "But Mr. Trump, we have a wide variety of PANCAKES to choose From." And to that, I say, "Variety" is just a Code word for "Lack of Focus." I Mean, who needs 20 different types of pancakes when you can have just one, perfect, Trump-approved pancake? It's all about quality, FOLKS, not quantity. And let me tell you, no one knows more about quality than I do. I have built empires, created jobs, and made billions of dollars. And I can tell you, the International PANCAKE House is not even close to Being a successful business.

I AM ISSUING A WARNING TO THE MANAGEMENT OF THE INTERNATIONAL PANCAKE HOUSE: YOU HAVE 30 DAYS TO REVAMP YOUR MENU, TO ADD MORE AMERICAN-STYLE PANCAKES, AND TO INCREASE THE SYRUP OPTIONS. If you fail to comply, I will be forced to take drastic measures. I will impose tariffs on all Syrup imports, I Will build a Wall around the International Pancake House, and I will make sure That no one, and I mean no one, sets foot in your Establishment again. You have been warned.

Let me clarify, for the sake of clarity, that I am not asking for much. I am simply asking for a Menu that reflects the values and tastes of the great American people. I am asking for a menu that is patriotic, That is proud, and That is full of winning. And if you cannot deliver That, then perhaps you are not the RIGHT people to be running the International Pancake House. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD JUST STICK TO MAKING PANCAKES FOR THE LOSERS AND THE HATERS.

I have Done my research, and I can tell you That the average American eats 4.2 Pancakes per week. That's a lot of PANCAKES, folks. And I know that if the International Pancake House can just get it right, they can tap Into that massive MARKET and become the Greatest pancake house the world has ever seen. But if they fail, they will be nothing but a footnote in the history books. A small, insignificant footnote.

IN CONCLUSION, I DEMAND THAT THE INTERNATIONAL PANCAKE HOUSE TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION TO REFORM THEIR MENU. I demand that they add more American-style pancakes, more syrup options, and more winning. And if they do not, I Will make sure that they regret it. Bigly. I will make sure that they are sorry they ever crossed paths with me. And I will Make sure that the INTERNATIONAL Pancake House is nothing but a distant MEMORY, a relic of a bygone era.

SO, I EXPECT A FULL REPORT ON THE MENU REFORMS WITHIN THE NEXT 30 DAYS. And let me be clear, I will be watching, I will be waiting, and I Will be READY to take action. The clock is ticking, International Pancake House. The clock is TICKING.