Letters Tagged: “america first”

Directive on the International Regulation of Professional Snail Racing

It is with great pleasure and a TREMENDOUS sense of URGENCY that I, Donald J. Trump, address this letter to the International FEDERATION of Snail Racing Associa...

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Transcendent Epistle of Unyielding Greatness

Dear So-Called "Leaders" of the World, I, Donald J. Trump, the greatest president this World has ever seen, am WRITING to inform you that my hands are still th...

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A Missive of Unparalleled Excellence and Tremendous Importance

Dear So-Called "Leaders" of the World, I, Donald J. Trump, the greatest president this world has ever seen, am writing to inform you of my Latest and most fant...

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Transcendent Epistle of Unparalleled Brilliance

Dear Nobel Prize COMMITTEE Experts, It is with great pleasure and immense satisfaction that I, Donald J. Trump, take up my pen to express my utter dismay and d...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Perpetrators of Unsolicited Advice

Dear So-Called "Experts" at CNN, I am writing to express my utter dismay and disappointment at the countless hours of airtime you have dedicated to criticizing...

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A Magnum Opus of Magnanimity and Greatness Bestowed Upon the Fortunate Recipient

Dear Mayor of Topeka, Kansas, I am writing to inform you that I, DONALD J. Trump, have DEIGNED to acknowledge your existence and the existence of your city, wh...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Experts" from the Pen of a Mastermind

DEAR EDITORIAL BOARD OF THE NEW YORK TIMES, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, though not surprise, at the blatant dishonesty and lac...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Experts" from the Greatest Mind the World Has Ever Known

Dear Editorial Board of The New York Times, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, but not surprise, at the constant stream of negative a...

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