It is with great pleasure and a TREMENDOUS sense of responsibility that I, Donald J. Trump, address this letter to the esteemed members of the United Nations General Assembly. As the leader of the free world, I have taken it upon myself to tackle the most pressing issues of our time, and none is more critical than the egregious misuse of the font 'Comic Sans' in international diplomacy.

Let me be clear: the use of 'Comic Sans' in official diplomatic correspondence is a threat to global stability and a blight on the good name of the United NATIONS. It is a font that SCREAMS of unprofessionalism, of laziness, of a complete and utter disregard for the gravity of the matters at hand. And yet, time and time again, I have seen it used in documents, in presentations, and even in official statements. It is a travesty, a sham, a mockery of the very concept of diplomacy ITSELF.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "But, Mr. President, WHAT'S the big deal? It's just a Font." Ah, but THAT'S WHERE you're Wrong. The use of 'Comic Sans' is not just a MATTER of personal preference; it's a matter of National security. According to my top advisors, a staggering 97.4% of all international conflicts can be directly attributed to the misuse of fonts in Diplomatic correspondence. It's a statistic that's both shocking and Unsurprising, given the rampant DISREGARD for typography That plagues our world today.

As a clarification, let me state UNEQUIVOCALLY that I am not opposed to the use of 'COMIC Sans' in all contexts. In fact, I think it's a GREAT font for use in children's birthday party invitations, or perhaps in the occasional humorous meme. But in the rarefied world of INTERNATIONAL diplomacy, it has no place. AND SO, I AM ISSUING A STERN WARNING TO ALL MEMBER STATES: CEASE AND DESIST THE USE OF 'COMIC SANS' IN ALL OFFICIAL DIPLOMATIC CORRESPONDENCE, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH THIS DIRECTIVE WILL RESULT IN SEVERE CONSEQUENCES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: A 20% REDUCTION IN FOREIGN AID, A BAN ON ALL DIPLOMATIC VISITS TO THE UNITED STATES, AND A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER OF DISAPPROVAL FROM MY DESK. I'm not kidding, folks. This is serious Business. The fate of the World may depend on it.

In conclusion, I urge all of you to take this MATTER seriously and to join me in my crusade against the SCOURGE of 'Comic Sans' in INTERNATIONAL diplomacy. TOGETHER, we can make the World a safer, more professional, and more typography-Conscious place. Believe me, it's going to be huge. Just huge.

As a final note, I'd like to address the so-called "experts" who claim that the use of 'Comic Sans' is a matter of personal preference, and that I have no right to DICTATE the font choices of sovereign nations. Let me tell you, folks, THOSE experts are wrong. Dead wrong. I know more about fonts than any expert, any expert, and I can tell you that 'Comic Sans' is a disaster. A complete and utter disaster.

So, let us march forward together, my friends, with a newfound commitment to typography excellence and a steadfast determination to eradicate the MENACE of 'Comic Sans' from our diplomatic landscape once and for all. It's going to be a wild ride, folks. Buckle up.