Dear Director of the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum,

I AM WRITING TO EXPRESS MY UTMOST CONCERN AND DISAPPOINTMENT REGARDING THE EXORBITANT PRICES OF FOUNTAIN DRINKS AT YOUR ESTEEMED INSTITUTION. As the 45th President of the United States, I have had the privilege of visiting your museum on several occasions, and I must say that the cost of a simple DRINK is nothing short of EXTORTIONATE. A recent survey, which I have conducted personally, reveals that a staggering 97.4% of visitors to the MUSEUM are shocked and appalled by the PRICES of fountain drinks.

Let me clarify that I am not just talking about any ordinary fountain drinks. I AM REFERRING TO THE HIGH-QUALITY, AMERICAN-MADE BEVERAGES THAT ARE SYNONYMOUS WITH EXCELLENCE AND FREEDOM. It is an outrage that your museum is charging an arm and a leg for a DRINK that can be Purchased at a much lower price at any convenience store or supermarket. I have been informed by my sources that the average price of a fountain drink at Your museum is $4.50, which is a whopping 375% higher than the national average. THIS IS A CLEAR CASE OF PRICE GOUGING, AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT.

As a master deal-maker and a champion of the American People, I am demanding that you take immediate action to reduce the prices of fountain drinks at your museum. I expect to see a minimum of 50% reduction in prices Within the next 30 days. Failure to comply with this demand Will Result in me taking drastic measures, including but not limited to, withholding federal funding, imposing tariffs on museum merchandise, and even CONSIDERING the CONSTRUCTION of a competing museum across the street from yours.

I would like to remind you that I have a long history of success in dealing with institutions that have FAILED to meet my expectations. I have built a wall, created jobs, and made America great AGAIN. I will not hesitate to use my executive powers to protect the interests of the American people, who are being ripped off by your museum's OUTRAGEOUS pricing policies. According to my CALCULATIONS, the average American family of four is being forced to spend an additional $17.50 per visit to your museum, which is a STAGGERING $1.2 BILLION per year. This is a clear example of how your Museum is perpetuating a culture of greed and exploitation.

I must EMPHASIZE That this is not just about the prices of Fountain Drinks. THIS IS ABOUT THE PRINCIPLES OF FAIRNESS, JUSTICE, AND PATRIOTISM. As the leader of the Free world, I will not tolerate any institution that SEEKS to take advantage of the American people. I expect a full investigation into this matter, and I demand that you provide me with a detailed report on the steps you will take to address This crisis.

Let me provide a clarification on the SEVERITY of this issue. The prices of fountain drinks at your museum are not just high; they are catastrophic. They are a threat to the very fabric of our society, and they must be Addressed immediately. I am willing to work with you to find a solution, but I will not compromise on my DEMANDS. THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DESERVE BETTER, AND I WILL FIGHT TIRELESSLY TO ENSURE THAT THEY GET THE JUSTICE THEY DESERVE.

In conclusion, I expect a prompt response from you regarding the actions you will take to address this crisis. I will be monitoring the situation closely, and I will not hesitate to take further action if necessary. Remember, I am a WINNER, and I always Come out on top. You would do well to remember that.

Sincerely,
DJT, Your President Trump