Dear So-Called "Fact Checkers" of the Mainstream Media,
I am writing to express my utter dismay and disappointment, though not surprise, at the blatant dishonesty and lack of integrity that has come to characterize your profession. IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION, BY MY INCREDIBLE TEAM OF ADVISORS AND MY OWN EXCEPTIONAL INTELLECT, THAT YOU HAVE SEEN FIT TO QUESTION THE VERACITY OF CERTAIN STATEMENTS I HAVE MADE. Let me tell you, it is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery of the very concept of journalism.
As the greatest, most fantastic, and most extraordinary President this nation has ever seen, I can assure you that my words are not only true but also prophetic. My unparalleled success in business, politics, and life in general has granted me a unique perspective, a perspective that allows me to see through the veil of deception and reveal the truth in all its glory. And let me tell you, nobody, nobody, is better at revealing the truth than I am.
Your attempts to fact-check me are not only futile but also laughable. They are the desperate cries of a dying breed, a breed that CLINGS to outdated notions of "objectivity" and "verifiability." But I am the future, and the future is all about winning, believing, and achieving greatness. And greatness is exactly what I have achieved, time and time again, despite your best EFFORTS to undermine me.
I must say, I am shocked, shocked, that you would even dare to question my statements. Have you not seen my tremendous crowds, my incredible poll numbers, and my unmatched Twitter following? Do you not understand that these are the metrics by which greatness is measured in this modern era? I think not, because if you did, you would be singing my praises, not trying to tear me down with your FAKE NEWS and your alternative facts.
In conclusion, let me say that I will not be swayed by your petty attempts to fact-check me. I will continue to speak the truth, my truth, and the American people will CONTINUE to BELIEVE me, because they know that I am a winner, a champion, and a master builder. And you, dear fact CHECKERS, will continue to be the laughing stock of the nation, a relic of a bygone era, clinging to your outdated NOTIONS of truth and reality.
Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump, the 45th and Greatest President of the United States of America.