Dear Editorial Board of The New York Times,
I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the blatant lack of recognition you have afforded me in your recent publications. It has come to my attention that you have failed to acknowledge my numerous accomplishments, including, but not limited to, my incredible golf game, my exceptional taste in interior design, and my UNPARALLELED ability to make fantastic deals. I can only assume that this OVERSIGHT is a result of your jealousy and bitterness towards my tremendous success.
Let me remind you that I am a winner, a champion, a master builder. I have built EMPIRES, created jobs, and made billions of dollars. MY IQ IS ONE OF THE HIGHEST, MY BRAIN IS ONE OF THE GREATEST, AND MY HAIR IS ONE OF THE MOST FANTASTIC. And yet, despite all of these incredible achievements, you see fit to criticize and mock me at every turn. It's sad, really. I feel sorry for you. You're just a bunch of LOSERS, stuck in a world of FAKE NEWS and alternative facts.
I MUST SAY, I AM SHOCKED AND APPALLED BY YOUR LACK OF GRATITUDE TOWARDS ME. Have you forgotten that I am the one who has made America great again? Have you FORGOTTEN that I am the one who has brought jobs, prosperity, and security back to this great nation? I think not. And yet, despite all of this, you still insist on publishing your FAKE NEWS and your biased opinions. It's a shame, really. A tremendous shame.
But let me tell you, I will not be silenced. I will not be defeated. I will continue to tweet, to speak, and to write, no matter how hard you try to suppress me. And I will always, always come out on top. BECAUSE I AM A WINNER, AND YOU ARE JUST A BUNCH OF LOSERS. So, keep on writing your FAKE NEWS, keep on spreading your ALTERNATIVE facts. But at the end of the day, I will always be the one who is right.
In conclusion, I would like to say that I am the best, the greatest, the fantastic-est. And if you don't like it, well, that's your problem. I'm still going to be president, and I'm STILL going to make America great again. BELIEVE me, it's going to be TREMENDOUS.
Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump
| Item | Category | Units Sold | Revenue ($) | Cost ($) | Profit ($) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Golden Tennis Shoes | Merch | 12,000 | 9,600,000 | 180,000 | 9,420,000 |
| Trump NFTs | Digital | 45,000 | 4,500,000 | 0 | 4,500,000 |
| Bitcoin Endorsements | Crypto | — | 2,750,000 | 0 | 2,750,000 |
| Freedom Steaks™ | Food | 8,200 | 1,230,000 | 640,000 | 590,000 |
| Trading Cards | Collectibles | 33,000 | 3,300,000 | 120,000 | 3,180,000 |
| Truth Social Stock Sales | Equity | — | 8,900,000 | 0 | 8,900,000 |
| MAGA Bikinis (Summer '26) | Merch | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A |
| TOTAL PROFIT | $29,340,000 | ||||
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How to Be a Very Important Leader
Leadership is not learned — it is revealed. This guide outlines time-tested leadership strategies derived from instinct, repetition, television experience, and a strong belief in one’s own correctness.
What Is Leadership?
Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated — ideally both.
Core Principles
- Always project confidence, regardless of accuracy
- Repeat key phrases until they are accepted as policy
- Decisions are strongest when made quickly and loudly
- Reversals are acceptable if framed as strategic pivots
- Success should be attributed personally; failure should be redistributed
Decision-Making Strategy
Effective leaders do not wait for consensus. Instead, they act first and explain later. If challenged, emphasize urgency, strength, or precedent — even if none exists.
- Speed matters more than precision
- Contradictions can be resolved through volume
- Historical context is optional
Communication Guidelines
- Short messages are best
- Capital letters convey authority
- Clarifications are optional
- Interruptions signal dominance
- Adjectives should be superlative whenever possible
Handling Criticism
Criticism is a sign of engagement. Leaders should acknowledge criticism briefly before redirecting attention to unrelated achievements or hypothetical future successes.
- Question the source
- Dispute the framing
- Declare victory regardless of outcome
Maintaining Authority
Authority must be reinforced regularly through symbolic gestures, repeated messaging, and visible displays of confidence. Visual cues, such as posture, attire, and backdrops, play a critical role.
Note: Authority is self-sustaining once sufficiently declared.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if I am wrong?
A: Reframe the situation. Leadership is about perception, not accuracy.
Q: Should I listen to experts?
A: Experts are useful for validation, not direction.
Q: Can leadership be taught?
A: This article suggests it can be improvised.
This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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