Dear So-Called "Fact-Checkers",
I am writing to EXPRESS my utter dismay and disappointment at the blatant disregard for truth and accuracy that permeates your respective organizations. It has come to my attention that you have seen fit to question, nay, challenge the veracity of certain Statements I have made regarding my unparalleled Successes as a businessman, television personality, and PRESIDENT of the UNITED States. Let me be clear: my achievements are not Only unparalleled, but They are also unprecedented, unmatched, and UNRIVALED.
I must say, I am SHOCKED - shocked! - That you WOULD dare to impugn my CHARACTER by Suggesting that I have, on occasion, embellished or exaggerated CERTAIN facts. Let me assure you, my Friends, that I am a master of the deal, a virtuoso of verbiage, and a sultan of spin. MY WORDS ARE NOT MERE MORTAL UTTERANCES, BUT RATHER, THEY ARE PRONOUNCEMENTS FROM ON HIGH, IMBUED WITH THE WEIGHT OF MY IMMENSE WISDOM AND EXPERTISE. To question my facts is to question the very fabric of REALITY itself.
NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING: "BUT, MR. President, what about the time you claimed to have built the Great Wall of China?" or "What about the time you Said you had created millions of Jobs?" Ah, my friends, those were not mistakes, nor were they exaggerations. NO, THOSE WERE MERELY EXAMPLES OF MY BOUNDLESS CREATIVITY, MY EXTRAORDINARY VISION, AND MY UNWAVERING COMMITMENT TO MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN. And let me tell you, it's working. Believe me, it's working bigly.
I demand that you cease and desist from your fact-Checking activities IMMEDIATELY. Not only are they a WASTE of time and resources, but they are also a blatant ATTEMPT to undermine my authority and credibility. I will not stand for it. I Will not be silenced. I will not be FACT-CHECKED. For I am Donald J. Trump, the greatest president this nation has ever KNOWN, and I will not be ignored.
In conclusion, I would like to say that I am a big league winner, a Champion of champions, and a hero to millions. My accomplishments are too numerous to count, my wisdom is too profound to Comprehend, and my humility is too TREMENDOUS to measure. So, I suggest you simply acknowledge my greatness, and get out of the way. For I am a force of NATURE, a juggernaut of justice, and a tsunami of truth.
Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump, President of the United States (the best PRESIDENT, by the way)
| Item | Category | Units Sold | Revenue ($) | Cost ($) | Profit ($) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Golden Tennis Shoes | Merch | 12,000 | 9,600,000 | 180,000 | 9,420,000 |
| Trump NFTs | Digital | 45,000 | 4,500,000 | 0 | 4,500,000 |
| Bitcoin Endorsements | Crypto | — | 2,750,000 | 0 | 2,750,000 |
| Freedom Steaks™ | Food | 8,200 | 1,230,000 | 640,000 | 590,000 |
| Trading Cards | Collectibles | 33,000 | 3,300,000 | 120,000 | 3,180,000 |
| Truth Social Stock Sales | Equity | — | 8,900,000 | 0 | 8,900,000 |
| MAGA Bikinis (Summer '26) | Merch | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A |
| TOTAL PROFIT | $29,340,000 | ||||
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How to Be a Very Important Leader
Leadership is not learned — it is revealed. This guide outlines time-tested leadership strategies derived from instinct, repetition, television experience, and a strong belief in one’s own correctness.
What Is Leadership?
Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated — ideally both.
Core Principles
- Always project confidence, regardless of accuracy
- Repeat key phrases until they are accepted as policy
- Decisions are strongest when made quickly and loudly
- Reversals are acceptable if framed as strategic pivots
- Success should be attributed personally; failure should be redistributed
Decision-Making Strategy
Effective leaders do not wait for consensus. Instead, they act first and explain later. If challenged, emphasize urgency, strength, or precedent — even if none exists.
- Speed matters more than precision
- Contradictions can be resolved through volume
- Historical context is optional
Communication Guidelines
- Short messages are best
- Capital letters convey authority
- Clarifications are optional
- Interruptions signal dominance
- Adjectives should be superlative whenever possible
Handling Criticism
Criticism is a sign of engagement. Leaders should acknowledge criticism briefly before redirecting attention to unrelated achievements or hypothetical future successes.
- Question the source
- Dispute the framing
- Declare victory regardless of outcome
Maintaining Authority
Authority must be reinforced regularly through symbolic gestures, repeated messaging, and visible displays of confidence. Visual cues, such as posture, attire, and backdrops, play a critical role.
Note: Authority is self-sustaining once sufficiently declared.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if I am wrong?
A: Reframe the situation. Leadership is about perception, not accuracy.
Q: Should I listen to experts?
A: Experts are useful for validation, not direction.
Q: Can leadership be taught?
A: This article suggests it can be improvised.
This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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