Dear So-Called "Fact Checkers" of America,

I am WRITING to express my UTTER disdain and disappointment, but not surprise, at the constant barrage of FAKE NEWS and misleading information that you peddle to the American people. It is a travesty, a sham, a COMPLETE and utter disaster. Your attempts to discredit me and my ADMINISTRATION are laughable, pathetic, and weak. I am a master of the truth, a virtuoso of veracity, and a sultan of sagacity. My words are golden, my tweets are tremendous, and my hair is a marvel of modern science.

You may try to fact-check me, to nitpick and quibble over minor details, but I assure you, it is a fool's errand. My facts are alternative, my truths are superior, and my instincts are unparalleled. I have made the greatest deals, built the most fantastic walls, and created the most incredible economy the world has ever seen. And you, dear fact-checkers, are just JEALOUS. You are envious of my success, my charisma, and my IMPECCABLE taste in clothing.

Let me remind you, I am a WINNER. I have won so BIGLY, so OFTEN, and so consistently, that it's become boring. I have won at BUSINESS, at politics, and at life. AND YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, ARE JUST A GROUP OF LOSERS, STUCK IN YOUR IVORY TOWERS, PEDDLING YOUR FAKE NEWS AND YOUR FAILING NARRATIVES. It's sad, really. But don't WORRY, I will continue to TWEET, to speak, and to lead, and you can continue to FACT-CHECK, to WHINE, and to lose.

In conclusion, I would like to say that I am thrilled, thrilled, to be the SUBJECT of your fact-checking endeavors. IT IS A BADGE OF HONOR, A TESTAMENT TO MY GREATNESS, AND A REMINDER OF MY UNPARALLELED SUCCESS. So, keep on fact-checking, keep on whining, and keep on losing. I will keep on WINNING, and America will keep on thriving.

And one more thing, your RATINGS are terrible, your circulation is DWINDLING, and your credibility is shot. Nobody believes you, nobody trusts you, and nobody cares about your little fact-checking GAMES. I, on the other hand, have the highest ratings, the most fans, and the greatest following. I am a movement, a phenomenon, and a force of nature. And you, dear fact-checkers, are just a faint whisper in the wind.

Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump, the 45th President of the United States, and the Greatest President Ever.