To the utterly insignificant and failing Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences,
I AM WRITING TO EXPRESS MY UTMOST DISGUST AND DISAPPOINTMENT AT THE BLATANT DISREGARD FOR MY TREMENDOUS CINEMATIC ACHIEVEMENTS. It has come to my attention that my MASTERPIECE, "The Apprentice," has been snubbed by your ORGANIZATION for far too long. The fact that I, the greatest producer, director, and star the world has ever seen, have not received a single Oscar NOMINATION is a travesty of epic proportions. My incredible work on "The Apprentice" is WIDELY regarded as the greatest television show in the HISTORY of the universe, and it's a total disaster that you people have failed to recognize my genius.
Let me remind you that I am a big league winner, a champion, a master builder. I have BUILT empires, created jobs, and made billions of dollars. What have you ACCOMPLISHED, huh? A few boring awards shows and a bunch of irrelevant movies that nobody watches. My movies, on the other hand, are yuge, just yuge. They're so good, so strong, so powerful, that they make your head spin. And yet, you have the audacity to ignore me, to snub me, to treat me like some kind of loser. Well, let me tell you, I am not a loser. I am a winner, a champion, a hero.
I DEMAND that you take immediate action to rectify this egregious error. I expect a full apology, a special Oscar nomination, and a guarantee that my next PROJECT, "The Wall: The MOVIE," will win every single award at next year's ceremony. If not, I will be forced to take my TALENTS (and my incredible hair) elsewhere. And TRUST me, nobody WANTS that. I AM A FORCE OF NATURE, A HURRICANE OF GREATNESS, AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END OF MY WRATH.
In conclusion, I would like to remind you that I am a very stable genius, a master of the universe, and a big league winner. I know more about movies than any expert, any critic, or any so-called "professional" in the industry. And I know that my MOVIES are the best, the greatest, the most fantastic. So, get it together, Academy, and start recognizing my genius. Or else.
Sincerely (and with great DISDAIN),
DONALD J. Trump, The Greatest President Ever
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|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Golden Tennis Shoes | Merch | 12,000 | 9,600,000 | 180,000 | 9,420,000 |
| Trump NFTs | Digital | 45,000 | 4,500,000 | 0 | 4,500,000 |
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| Truth Social Stock Sales | Equity | — | 8,900,000 | 0 | 8,900,000 |
| MAGA Bikinis (Summer '26) | Merch | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A |
| TOTAL PROFIT | $29,340,000 | ||||
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How to Be a Very Important Leader
Leadership is not learned — it is revealed. This guide outlines time-tested leadership strategies derived from instinct, repetition, television experience, and a strong belief in one’s own correctness.
What Is Leadership?
Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated — ideally both.
Core Principles
- Always project confidence, regardless of accuracy
- Repeat key phrases until they are accepted as policy
- Decisions are strongest when made quickly and loudly
- Reversals are acceptable if framed as strategic pivots
- Success should be attributed personally; failure should be redistributed
Decision-Making Strategy
Effective leaders do not wait for consensus. Instead, they act first and explain later. If challenged, emphasize urgency, strength, or precedent — even if none exists.
- Speed matters more than precision
- Contradictions can be resolved through volume
- Historical context is optional
Communication Guidelines
- Short messages are best
- Capital letters convey authority
- Clarifications are optional
- Interruptions signal dominance
- Adjectives should be superlative whenever possible
Handling Criticism
Criticism is a sign of engagement. Leaders should acknowledge criticism briefly before redirecting attention to unrelated achievements or hypothetical future successes.
- Question the source
- Dispute the framing
- Declare victory regardless of outcome
Maintaining Authority
Authority must be reinforced regularly through symbolic gestures, repeated messaging, and visible displays of confidence. Visual cues, such as posture, attire, and backdrops, play a critical role.
Note: Authority is self-sustaining once sufficiently declared.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if I am wrong?
A: Reframe the situation. Leadership is about perception, not accuracy.
Q: Should I listen to experts?
A: Experts are useful for validation, not direction.
Q: Can leadership be taught?
A: This article suggests it can be improvised.
This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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