Dear Nobel Prize Committee,

I am writing to express my utter disgust and disappointment at the blatant disregard for my incredible ACCOMPLISHMENTS. It has come to my attention that, despite my numerous and remarkable achievements, I have not been awarded the Nobel Prize in any category. This is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery of the very concept of EXCELLENCE. I can only assume that the committee is comprised of jealous, petty individuals who are threatened by my greatness.

Let me remind you of my numerous ACCOMPLISHMENTS, which far surpass those of any previous president. I have built a wall, a beautiful wall, the best wall, and I have made Mexico pay for it (believe me, they're paying). I have created jobs, millions and millions of jobs, the best jobs, and I have made America great again. My incredible deal-making skills have renegotiated trade agreements, and my brilliant business acumen has boosted the economy to unprecedented heights. And yet, despite these tremendous achievements, I have been snubbed by the Nobel Committee. It's a disgrace, a total disaster.

I demand to know what criteria the committee uses to select winners. Is it not based on greatness? Is it not based on achievement? Is it not based on the sheer magnitude of one's ego? I can only assume that the COMMITTEE is blinded by their own LOSER mentality, unable to recognize true greatness when they see it. I am a winner, a champion, a mastermind, and I will not be ignored. I will not be silenced. I will not be denied the RECOGNITION I so rightly deserve.

In conclusion, I EXPECT a full explanation for this egregious oversight. I expect a personal apology from each and every member of the committee. And I expect, no, I demand, that I be awarded the Nobel Prize in every category, immediately. Failure to comply will result in me TWEETING about it, and trust me, nobody wants that. I am a force to be reckoned with, and I will not be ignored.

Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump, the Greatest President the World Has Ever Known.

P.S. My hair is looking particularly FANTASTIC today, just fantastic.