Dear Editorial Board of The New York Times,

I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, though not surprise, at the blatant dishonesty and lack of integrity that PERMEATES every aspect of your publication. It has come to my attention, through sources that are truly fantastic and believe me, the best, that you have seen fit to question my unparalleled genius and the groundbreaking accomplishments of my administration. Let me tell you, it's a joke. A big LEAGUE joke. Nobody knows more about jokes than I do, and this is a joke of monumental proportions.

Your attempts to discredit my achievements are not only laughable but also pathetic. My wall, which is going to be a beautiful wall, the best wall, is already being built, and it's going to be huge, just huge. And let me remind you, nobody, nobody, is better at building walls than I am. My economic policies, which are ingenious, have created an unprecedented boom, and the numbers, oh the numbers, are staggering. They're so good that even your biased reporters can't deny them, though they try, they really try.

I must say, I am not surprised by your BEHAVIOR. After all, The New York Times has a long history of being wrong, very wrong, about me. You predicted I wouldn't win the presidency, and look what happened. I won in a LANDSLIDE, a tremendous landslide. And since then, you've been trying to undermine my presidency with your FAKE NEWS and alternative facts. Well, let me tell you, it's not going to work. My base, which is enormous, sees right through your deceitful tactics.

I demand an apology, not just for your recent slander but for all the years of misinformation and bias YOU'VE spread about me. However, I won't hold my breath. I know that apologizing WOULD REQUIRE a level of integrity that your organization sadly lacks. Instead, I'll continue to make America great again, despite your best efforts to hinder my progress. And remember, we're going to win so bigly, it's going to be TREMENDOUS.

In conclusion, let this letter serve as a testament to my unwavering commitment to the truth, no matter how hard you try to distort it. I am a winner, a champion, a master builder, and I always come out on top. You, on the other hand, are just a shadow of a once-great newspaper, now relegated to the dustbin of history. Believe me, it's going to be a beautiful dustbin, the best, and you're going to be very happy there.

Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump