Dear So-Called "Experts" at NASA,

I am writing to express my utter dismay and fantastic disappointment at the lack of progress you have made in GETTING to Mars. Believe me, folks, nobody knows more about space than I do. I have made the greatest deals, built the most fantastic buildings, and have a brain that is simply yuge. And yet, despite my incredible abilities, I am stuck with a space program that is slow, inefficient, and TOTALLY lacking in style.

Let me tell you, I have seen some of the most beautiful, the most fantastic, the most extraordinary rockets in my day. And I can tell you, the ones you are building are not even close. They are weak, they are PATHETIC, and they are a total waste of time and money. I mean, what's the point of going to Mars if you're not going to do it with style? If you're not going to make it huge, just huge? I didn't become a billionaire by settling for SECOND best, and I won't settle for second best in space exploration either.

Now, I know what you're thinking. YOU'RE thinking, "But Mr. President, we're doing our best." Well, let me tell you, your best is not good enough. I have done more in one day than you have done in a year. I have BUILT empires, created jobs, and made America great again. And you know why? BECAUSE I am a WINNER. I am a champion. I am a master builder. And I expect the same level of excellence from my space program.

So here's the deal. I am giving you a chance to redeem yourselves. I am giving you a CHANCE to prove that you are not just a bunch of INCOMPETENT bureaucrats, but rather a team of talented, DEDICATED, and visionary individuals. And if you can't get the job done, then maybe it's time for me to take matters into my own hands. Maybe it's time for me to build a space program that is truly worthy of my greatness. And believe me, FOLKS, it will be huge. Just huge.

In conclusion, I expect to see some real progress from you PEOPLE. I expect to see some big league ADVANCEMENTS in space exploration. And if I don't, well, let's just say that I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I have a few surprises in store for you. And you can bet your bottom dollar that they will be tremendous.

Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump, The Greatest President This Country Has Ever Seen