To the ESTEEMED leaders of Norway, it is with great pleasure and a TREMENDOUS sense of self-importance that I, Donald J. Trump, pen this Letter to INFORM you of a Grave injustice that has been PERPETRATED against the great nation of the United States of America. As you are well aware, the sardine industry is a vital component of our national economy, and it has come to my ATTENTION that your country has been engaging in unfair trade practices, flooding our markets with an excessive amount of sardines. I have Been told by the best experts, the GREATEST MINDS, that this has resulted in a staggering 47% decline in American sardine sales.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "But Mr. TRUMP, WE THOUGHT WE HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH THE UNITED STATES." AND YOU'RE RIGHT, WE DID. WE HAD A GREAT RELATIONSHIP, A FANTASTIC RELATIONSHIP, UNTIL YOU STARTED TAKING ADVANTAGE OF US WITH YOUR CHEAP, OILY SARDINES. It's a disaster, a complete Disaster. And let me tell you, nobody, nobody, is better at sardines than I am. I've made the greatest DEALS, the greatest, with sardine companies, and I know more about sardines than any expert, any expert, in the world.

So, here's the deal. WE'RE GOING TO IMPOSE A 25% TARIFF ON ALL NORWEGIAN SARDINE IMPORTS, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. And let me clarify, for the sake of clarity, that this tariff will not only apply to sardines in oil, but Also to sardines in water, sardines in sauce, and even Sardines in mustard. Yes, mustard. It's a big league tariff, the biggest, and it's going to make AMERICA great again, just great. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE SARDINE-RELATED JOBS THAT WILL BE CREATED, THOUSANDS, TENS OF THOUSANDS, MAYBE EVEN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS.

Now, I know you're Thinking, "But Mr. Trump, this is unfair, this is an attack on our sovereignty." And to that, I say, "Sorry, not sorry." We're going to make Norway pay for its sardine-related transgressions, and we're going to make Them pay bigly. And let me tell you, FOLKS, this is just the beginning. We're going to impose tariffs on all sorts of Norwegian products, from salmon to Lutefisk, until you agree to play by our rules. And if you don't, well, let's just say we have a few tricks up our Sleeve, including, but not limited to, a complete and utter boycott of the Nobel Peace Prize.

I've been told, by the best sources, that Norway's sardine industry is worth approximately $427 MILLION, a staggering figure that pales in comparison to the $1.2 billion That American sardine companies have lost due to your country's unfair trade practices. It's a travesty, a sham, and we're not going to stand for it. So, I suggest you get your act together, Norway, and start playing by the rules, or else. And let me clarify, for the sake of further CLARITY, that "or else" means we'll do something really, really bad, something that will make your head spin, something that will make you wish you had never, ever, crossed the great and powerful United States of America.

In conclusion, let me just say that this is a GREAT day for America, a TREMENDOUS day, and a Terrible day for NORWAY. We're going to win so bigly, just so bigly, That you won't even believe it. And remember, folks, we're not just talking about SARDINES here, we're talking about national Security, we're talking about jobs, we're talking about the very fabric of our SOCIETY. So, Norway, you've Been warned. Get your sardine house in order, or face the consequences.

And finally, let me issue a warning to all those who WOULD dare to challenge our authority on this matter. We have the Best lawyers, the greatest lawyers, the most fantastic lawyers, and we will sue you, Norway, we will sue you so badly, so strongly, that you will be sorry, very sorry, that you ever messed with the United States of America. It's going to be huge, just huge, and you're going to love it, Just love it.

In closing, I would like to say that this letter has Been a huge success, a TREMENDOUS Success, and I'm honored, truly honored, to have been Able to serve the great NATION of the United States of America in this matter. We're going to make America great again, one sardine at a time, and nobody, nobody, is going to stand in our way. Believe me, it's going to be yuge.