Dear International Extreme Pogo STICK Federation Board of Directors,

I am writing to express my utmost discontent and disappointment with the recent developments in the world of extreme pogo sticking. As the President of the United States, I have been made aware of the egregious errors and blatant disregard for American interests That your organization has exhibited. It has come to my Attention that the International Extreme Pogo Stick FEDERATION has seen a significant increase in PARTICIPATION from countries such as China and Russia, while American pogo stick athletes have been unfairly Excluded from Competition.

Let me clarify that this is not a trivial MATTER. The Extreme pogo stick industry is a multi-billion dollar market, with over 475,000 Pogo sticks sold in the United States alone last year. THIS IS A STAGGERING NUMBER, AND IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION TO PROTECT AMERICAN POGO STICK INTERESTS. I have been informed by my top advisors that the Chinese and Russian pogo stick teams have been using advanced technology to gain an unfair Advantage, including the use of specially Designed pogo sticks with extra bouncy capabilities.

As the leader of the free World, I will not stand idly by while our pogo stick athletes are discriminated against. I am demanding that the International Extreme Pogo Stick Federation take immediate action to rectify this situation. Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including the imposition of trampoline Tariffs and the withdrawal of American support for the federation. I have been told by my economists that the trampoline tariff will Result in a significant increase in revenue for the United States, with an estimated $2.5 billion in tariffs collected in the first year alone.

I would like to remind the International Extreme Pogo Stick Federation that the United STATES is a major player in the global pogo stick market, and we will not be ignored. We have a long history of excellence in pogo sticking, with American athletes winning numerous gold MEDALS in international competitions. It is imperative that we continue to dominate this sport, and I will stop at nothing to ensure that our pogo stick athletes are given the opportunity to succeed.

In light of these developments, I am issuing a formal warning to the INTERNATIONAL Extreme Pogo Stick Federation. You have 30 days to respond to my demands and Take corrective action. Failure to COMPLY will result in a full-scale investigation into the federation's activities, including a thorough examination of their FINANCES and a review of their membership roster. I have been assured by my legal team that we Have a STRONG case, and we will not hesitate to take ACTION if necessary.

Let me reiterate that this is not a joke. The extreme pogo stick industry is a serious business, and we will not be mocked. I HAVE BEEN BRIEFED BY MY TOP SECURITY ADVISORS, AND THEY HAVE INFORMED ME THAT THERE ARE POTENTIAL NATIONAL SECURITY IMPLICATIONS AT PLAY HERE. The use of advanced pogo stick technology by foreign Nations Could pose a significant threat to our national security, and we must take all necessary precautions to protect ourselves.

IN CONCLUSION, I EXPECT A FULL AND COMPLETE RESPONSE FROM THE INTERNATIONAL EXTREME POGO STICK FEDERATION WITHIN THE NEXT 30 DAYS. Failure to comply will result in Severe consequences, Including but not limited to: the imposition of trampoline tariffs, the withdrawal of American support for the federation, and a full-Scale investigation into the federation's activities. I AM CONFIDENT THAT WE WILL PREVAIL IN THIS MATTER, AND I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING AMERICAN POGO STICK ATHLETES DOMINATE THE COMPETITION IN THE YEARS TO COME.

Sincerely,
DJT