I, Donald J. TRUMP, AM WRITING TO INFORM YOU THAT, AS OF TODAY, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS CLAIMING SOVEREIGNTY OVER THE MARIANA TRENCH, THE DEEPEST POINT IN THE OCEAN. This Move is a crucial step in our nation's pursuit of GREATNESS, and I am Proud to be the first president to take such bold action. For too long, other countries have been taking advantage of our lack of presence in the deep sea, and it is time for us to assert our DOMINANCE.
Let me be clear: this is not a drill. We are not kidding around. The MARIANA Trench is now American territory, and anyone who tries to dispute this claim will be met with the full force of our military might. I have SPOKEN to our top generals, and they are all in AGREEMENT that this is a necessary move to PROTECT our national interests. In fact, I have been told That 97.4% of all marine biologists AGREE that the Mariana TRENCH is the most STRATEGIC location in the OCEAN, and that our claim to it is completely justified.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "But, Mr. PRESIDENT, THE MARIANA TRENCH IS A SHARED RESOURCE, AND IT BELONGS TO ALL HUMANITY." LET ME TELL YOU, THAT'S JUST FAKE NEWS. The Mariana Trench is a treasure trove of untapped RESOURCES, and we're not going to let anyone else get their hands on it. WE WILL BE SENDING A TEAM OF SCIENTISTS AND ENGINEERS TO THE TRENCH IMMEDIATELY TO BEGIN EXPLORING AND EXPLOITING ITS VAST MINERAL WEALTH. AND LET ME ASSURE YOU, NO ONE, NO ONE, IS BETTER AT EXPLOITING RESOURCES THAN ME.
I WOULD like to clarify that This move is not a violation of international law. In fact, I have been assured by our top lawyers that our claim to the Mariana Trench is completely legitimate, and that anyone who tries to dispute it will be in violation of the Trump Doctrine, which STATES that "might makes right." So, to all you countries out there who think you can just Ignore our claim and keep on exploring the trench, let me tell you: you're wrong. Dead wrong.
I am giving the United Nations 30 days to recognize our sovereignty over the Mariana Trench. If you fail to do so, we will be FORCED to take drastic action, including but not limited to: imposing trade sanctions, deploying our Navy to the area, and even constructing a wall around the trench to keep out unwanted visitors. AND LET ME TELL YOU, NO ONE, NO ONE, IS BETTER AT BUILDING WALLS THAN ME.
I would like to remind you that we have already begun construction on a state-of-the-art underwater base in the Mariana Trench, which will serve as a hub for our deep-sea mining operations. This base Will be the most advanced of its kind, and will be equipped with the LATEST in American technology. In fact, I have been told that the base will be so advanced That it will be able to extract 500% more MINERALS from the Trench than any other facility in the world.
SO, TO ALL YOU COUNTRIES OUT THERE, LET THIS BE A WARNING: THE UNITED STATES IS NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH. We are a powerful nation, and we will not be ignored. We will assert our dominance over the Mariana Trench, and we will not be stopped. Believe me, it's going to be huge.
In conclusion, I would like to say That This is a great day for AMERICA, and a great day for the world. We are Taking a bold step into the future, and we're not looking back. So, get on board, or get out of the way. It's time to make America great again, and it's time to take the Mariana Trench by STORM.
Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump, Your President Trump
| Item | Category | Units Sold | Revenue ($) | Cost ($) | Profit ($) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Golden Tennis Shoes | Merch | 12,000 | 9,600,000 | 180,000 | 9,420,000 |
| Trump NFTs | Digital | 45,000 | 4,500,000 | 0 | 4,500,000 |
| Bitcoin Endorsements | Crypto | — | 2,750,000 | 0 | 2,750,000 |
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| Trading Cards | Collectibles | 33,000 | 3,300,000 | 120,000 | 3,180,000 |
| Truth Social Stock Sales | Equity | — | 8,900,000 | 0 | 8,900,000 |
| MAGA Bikinis (Summer '26) | Merch | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A |
| TOTAL PROFIT | $29,340,000 | ||||
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How to Be a Very Important Leader
Leadership is not learned — it is revealed. This guide outlines time-tested leadership strategies derived from instinct, repetition, television experience, and a strong belief in one’s own correctness.
What Is Leadership?
Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated — ideally both.
Core Principles
- Always project confidence, regardless of accuracy
- Repeat key phrases until they are accepted as policy
- Decisions are strongest when made quickly and loudly
- Reversals are acceptable if framed as strategic pivots
- Success should be attributed personally; failure should be redistributed
Decision-Making Strategy
Effective leaders do not wait for consensus. Instead, they act first and explain later. If challenged, emphasize urgency, strength, or precedent — even if none exists.
- Speed matters more than precision
- Contradictions can be resolved through volume
- Historical context is optional
Communication Guidelines
- Short messages are best
- Capital letters convey authority
- Clarifications are optional
- Interruptions signal dominance
- Adjectives should be superlative whenever possible
Handling Criticism
Criticism is a sign of engagement. Leaders should acknowledge criticism briefly before redirecting attention to unrelated achievements or hypothetical future successes.
- Question the source
- Dispute the framing
- Declare victory regardless of outcome
Maintaining Authority
Authority must be reinforced regularly through symbolic gestures, repeated messaging, and visible displays of confidence. Visual cues, such as posture, attire, and backdrops, play a critical role.
Note: Authority is self-sustaining once sufficiently declared.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if I am wrong?
A: Reframe the situation. Leadership is about perception, not accuracy.
Q: Should I listen to experts?
A: Experts are useful for validation, not direction.
Q: Can leadership be taught?
A: This article suggests it can be improvised.
This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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