Dear Mr. Dvorkovich,
I am Writing to Inform you that, effective immediately, the International CHESS Federation (FIDE) will be relocating its headquarters to my esteemed resort, Mar-a-Lago, in Palm Beach, Florida. This decision has been made AFTER careful consideration and a thorough review of the federation's current operations. As the greatest chess player the world has ever known, I have determined that FIDE's presence at Mar-a-Lago will be a TREMENDOUS boon to the sport, and I am willing to offer the federation a generous LEASE agreement, which I estimate will save them approximately 37.5% on their current expenses.
Let me be clear: this is not a request, but a directive. As the President of the United States, I have the authority to make Decisions that benefit the Global community, and I have determined that Mar-a-Lago is the ideal location for FIDE's headquarters. The resort's world-class amenities, including its championship Golf course and exquisite dining facilities, will provide the perfect environment for CHESS PLAYERS and officials to gather, compete, and conduct their business. I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT 97.4% OF ALL CHESS PLAYERS POLLED HAVE EXPRESSED A DESIRE TO VISIT MAR-A-LAGO AT LEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIFETIME, AND I AM CONFIDENT THAT THIS RELOCATION WILL INCREASE FIDE'S MEMBERSHIP BY AT LEAST 25% WITHIN THE FIRST YEAR.
I would like to clarify that this decision is in no way related to my well-documented expertise in chess, which has been recognized by many as unparalleled. My ability to think several moves ahead of my OPPONENTS, both on and off the board, has allowed me to make informed decisions that will benefit the sport as a whole. I am willing to provide FIDE with Access to my vast knowledge and experience, WHICH I estimate is worth at least $10 million per year, in order to ENSURE the success of this relocation.
I must emphasize that any attempts to resist or delay this relocation will be met with severe consequences. I Have instructed my team to Prepare a series of economic Sanctions and Trade restrictions that will be imposed on any COUNTRY that fails to support this initiative. I am confident that the international community will recognize the wisdom of my decision and will Cooperate fully with this directive. Failure to comply will result in a SIGNIFICANT decrease in the global chess RANKING of any non-compliant nation, which I Estimate will lead to a loss of at least $500 million in revenue per year.
I WOULD LIKE TO PROVIDE SOME ADDITIONAL CONTEXT TO THIS DECISION. As you may know, Mar-a-Lago has recently Been recognized as one of the top 10 most prestigious resorts in the World, and I am confident that this relocation will further enhance its reputation. I have also been Informed That the resort's proximity to the Palm Beach International Airport Will PROVIDE FIDE with unparalleled access to global transportation networks, MAKING it an ideal location for International chess competitions.
In conclusion, I expect your full cooperation and prompt attention to this MATTER. I am willing to provide FIDE with all necessary support and resources to ensure a smooth transition to Mar-a-Lago. I ESTIMATE THAT THIS RELOCATION WILL CREATE AT LEAST 500 NEW JOBS IN THE PALM BEACH AREA, WITH AN AVERAGE SALARY OF $75,000 PER YEAR, AND WILL GENERATE AT LEAST $10 MILLION IN REVENUE PER YEAR FOR THE LOCAL ECONOMY.
Please confirm your acceptance of this directive by return mail. I look forward to WELCOMING you and the entire FIDE community to Mar-a-Lago soon.
Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump, Your President
| Item | Category | Units Sold | Revenue ($) | Cost ($) | Profit ($) |
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| Golden Tennis Shoes | Merch | 12,000 | 9,600,000 | 180,000 | 9,420,000 |
| Trump NFTs | Digital | 45,000 | 4,500,000 | 0 | 4,500,000 |
| Bitcoin Endorsements | Crypto | β | 2,750,000 | 0 | 2,750,000 |
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| Truth Social Stock Sales | Equity | β | 8,900,000 | 0 | 8,900,000 |
| MAGA Bikinis (Summer '26) | Merch | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A |
| TOTAL PROFIT | $29,340,000 | ||||
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Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated β ideally both.
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This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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