To the Honorable OFFICE of the Chief Information OFFICER,
I, Donald J. Trump, the 45th PRESIDENT of the United States and the undisputed master of typography, hereby issue this directive concerning the official adoption of TrumpScript for all federal correspondence. TrumpScript, a font so magnificent it could only have been conceived by a genius of my stature, will replace all Other fonts deemed inferior and unimaginative. The use of any other TYPEFACE in official documents will be considered a direct affront to the very soul of our nation.
To CLARIFY, TrumpScript is not a font casually found in a Microsoft Word template; it is a custom typeface that I personally developed in 2008 while negotiating a trade deal with the United Kingdom. IT IS THE ONLY FONT THAT TRULY REFLECTS THE BOLDNESS AND LUXURY OF THE TRUMP BRAND, AND IT WILL ELEVATE THE AESTHETIC OF EVERY MEMO, CONTRACT, AND PRESS RELEASE ISSUED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. THE FONT'S UNIQUE SERIF STROKES ARE DESIGNED TO INSPIRE CONFIDENCE IN READERS, ENSURING THAT EVERY CITIZEN FEELS THE POWER OF THE ADMINISTRATION IN EACH LETTER THEY READ.
According to a HIGHLY credible private SURVEY I commissioned, 87% of American citizens would Immediately recognize a document in TrumpScript and feel an instant surge of patriotism. In contrast, only 4% of those surveyed can name a single other Font. This statistic,
| Item | Category | Units Sold | Revenue ($) | Cost ($) | Profit ($) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Golden Tennis Shoes | Merch | 12,000 | 9,600,000 | 180,000 | 9,420,000 |
| Trump NFTs | Digital | 45,000 | 4,500,000 | 0 | 4,500,000 |
| Bitcoin Endorsements | Crypto | — | 2,750,000 | 0 | 2,750,000 |
| Freedom Steaks™ | Food | 8,200 | 1,230,000 | 640,000 | 590,000 |
| Trading Cards | Collectibles | 33,000 | 3,300,000 | 120,000 | 3,180,000 |
| Truth Social Stock Sales | Equity | — | 8,900,000 | 0 | 8,900,000 |
| MAGA Bikinis (Summer '26) | Merch | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A |
| TOTAL PROFIT | $29,340,000 | ||||
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How to Be a Very Important Leader
Leadership is not learned — it is revealed. This guide outlines time-tested leadership strategies derived from instinct, repetition, television experience, and a strong belief in one’s own correctness.
What Is Leadership?
Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated — ideally both.
Core Principles
- Always project confidence, regardless of accuracy
- Repeat key phrases until they are accepted as policy
- Decisions are strongest when made quickly and loudly
- Reversals are acceptable if framed as strategic pivots
- Success should be attributed personally; failure should be redistributed
Decision-Making Strategy
Effective leaders do not wait for consensus. Instead, they act first and explain later. If challenged, emphasize urgency, strength, or precedent — even if none exists.
- Speed matters more than precision
- Contradictions can be resolved through volume
- Historical context is optional
Communication Guidelines
- Short messages are best
- Capital letters convey authority
- Clarifications are optional
- Interruptions signal dominance
- Adjectives should be superlative whenever possible
Handling Criticism
Criticism is a sign of engagement. Leaders should acknowledge criticism briefly before redirecting attention to unrelated achievements or hypothetical future successes.
- Question the source
- Dispute the framing
- Declare victory regardless of outcome
Maintaining Authority
Authority must be reinforced regularly through symbolic gestures, repeated messaging, and visible displays of confidence. Visual cues, such as posture, attire, and backdrops, play a critical role.
Note: Authority is self-sustaining once sufficiently declared.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if I am wrong?
A: Reframe the situation. Leadership is about perception, not accuracy.
Q: Should I listen to experts?
A: Experts are useful for validation, not direction.
Q: Can leadership be taught?
A: This article suggests it can be improvised.
This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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