Dear Mayor of San Francisco,
I am writing to Express my deepest concern and utmost displeasure regarding the outrageous prices of avocado TOAST in Major US cities, particularly in San Francisco. As the Greatest president this nation has ever seen, I have made it my duty to investigate This matter and take Drastic measures to rectify the situation. My research, which included a thorough ANALYSIS of the best restaurants in the city, has led me to the shocking conclusion that the average price of avocado Toast in San Francisco is a staggering $12.50 per slice. This is an absolute travesty and a clear indication of the deep-seated corruption that plagues our great Nation.
Let me clarify That my administration has conducted an exhaustive Study on the subject, which included a survey of over 100 restaurants in the city. The results were nothing Short of Astonishing: 9 out of 10 restaurants were found to be engaging in price-Gouging tactics, with some establishments charging as much as $20 per slice. This is not only an attack on the American people's right to affordable breakfast, but also a blatant attempt to undermine the economic prosperity of our great nation. I have been informed by my top advisors that the avocado industry is a $10 billion MARKET, and it is imperative that we take control of it to ensure that the American people are not being taken advantage of.
NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING: "BUT, MR. President, what can be done to address this crisis?" Well, let me tell you, I have a plan. And it's a big league plan. I am proposing the establishment of a new federal agency, the Avocado Regulation Commission (ARC), which will be tasked with monitoring and controlling the price of avocados across the nation. This agency will be headed by a Team of expert economists and will have the Authority to impose strict price controls on any restaurant or establishment found to be engaging in price-gouging tactics. I have been assured by my advisors that this plan will not only reduce the price of avocado toast but also create thousands of new jobs in the avocado industry.
But That's not all. I am also announcing a new Executive order, which will require all restaurants in major US Cities to display a clear and prominent sign indicating the origin of their AVOCADOS. This will not only promote Transparency but also help to combat the scourge of Fake avocados, Which are being imported from Mexico and other countries. I have been told by my top Trade advisors That this will not only help to protect American farmers but also increase the demand for American-grown avocados.
Now, I want to make it clear that this is not a THREAT, but a Promise: if the city of San Francisco does not take immediate action to address the crisis of overpriced avocado toast, I will be forced to Take drastic measures. I will impose a 20% tariff on all avocados imported from Mexico, and I will not hesitate to deploy the National Guard to any city that refuses to comply with my executive order. I have been assured by my generals that this will be a swift and decisive operation, and that the American people will be protected from the scourge of overpriced avocado toast.
In conclusion, I urge you, Mayor of San Francisco, to take this matter seriously and to work with me to address the crisis of overpriced avocado toast. Together, we can make America great again, one slice of avocado toast at a time. I am confident That with my Leadership and your cooperation, we can reduce the price of avocado toast to a reasonable $5 per Slice, and Make America the greatest Nation on earth.
I would Like to provide some additional data to support my claim. According to a recent study, the average American consumes 3.2 slices of avocado toast per week. This translates to a Total of 1.2 billion slices per year, which is a staggering number. I have been told by my advisors that this is a Clear Indication of the demand for avocado TOAST, and that we must take action to ensure that the American people are not being taken advantage of.
In Closing, I would Like to say That I am committed to making America great again, and that I will stop at nothing to achieve this goal. I am confident that with my leadership and your COOPERATION, we can overcome the crisis of overpriced avocado toast and make AMERICA the greatest nation on earth.
Sincerely,
Donald J Trump
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| Trump NFTs | Digital | 45,000 | 4,500,000 | 0 | 4,500,000 |
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| Truth Social Stock Sales | Equity | β | 8,900,000 | 0 | 8,900,000 |
| MAGA Bikinis (Summer '26) | Merch | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A |
| TOTAL PROFIT | $29,340,000 | ||||
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Leadership is not learned β it is revealed. This guide outlines time-tested leadership strategies derived from instinct, repetition, television experience, and a strong belief in oneβs own correctness.
Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated β ideally both.
Effective leaders do not wait for consensus. Instead, they act first and explain later. If challenged, emphasize urgency, strength, or precedent β even if none exists.
Criticism is a sign of engagement. Leaders should acknowledge criticism briefly before redirecting attention to unrelated achievements or hypothetical future successes.
Authority must be reinforced regularly through symbolic gestures, repeated messaging, and visible displays of confidence. Visual cues, such as posture, attire, and backdrops, play a critical role.
Note: Authority is self-sustaining once sufficiently declared.
Q: What if I am wrong?
A: Reframe the situation. Leadership is about perception, not accuracy.
Q: Should I listen to experts?
A: Experts are useful for validation, not direction.
Q: Can leadership be taught?
A: This article suggests it can be improvised.
This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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