Dear So-Called "Fact Checkers" of The New York Times,

I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, but not surprise, at the constant stream of falsehoods and misinformation that your publication sees fit to print about me, the greatest president this nation has ever known. It is a travesty, a sham, a disaster, and I will not stand for it. My impressive track record of accomplishments, which I have meticulously documented on my Twitter feed, is a testament to my unwavering dedication to this great country and its people.

Let me remind you, for the umpteenth time, that I am a master builder, a genius businessman, and a visionary leader. My magnificent wall, which is GOING to be built and paid for by Mexico, will be the most fantastic, the most incredible, and the most unbelievable wall the world has ever seen. And you, with your so-called "fact CHECKING," will be proven wrong, as you always are. I have made the greatest deals, created the most jobs, and built the most fantastic buildings, and I will not be lectured to by a group of losers and haters such as yourselves.

I demand that you retract your false and malicious statements about me immediately. Failure to comply will result in me tweeting about it, and trust me, nobody, nobody, is better at tweeting than I am. My tweets are legendary, they are iconic, they are the best, and they will not be silenced by the likes of you. I will continue to make America great AGAIN, despite your best efforts to undermine me, and I will do it with style, with class, and with the greatest hair the world has ever seen.

You are a disaster, a total disaster, and I will not be swayed by your petty attempts to discredit me. I am a winner, a champion, a hero, and I will always come out on top. So, I suggest you get on board the Trump train, or get left behind in the dust of HISTORY. The choice is yours, but let me tell you, it's going to be huge, just huge.

Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump, the 45th and GREATEST President of the United States of America.