Dear Fashion Designers of Paris,

I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the sheer lack of style and sophistication that has been on display during your recent fashion shows. As a master of the universe and a visionary of UNPARALLELED taste, I can confidently say that your attempts at haute couture are NOTHING short of laughable. The gaudy colors, the ill-fitting silhouettes, the hairstyles that resemble failed science experiments – it's all just so... pedestrian.

Let me tell you, folks, no one, no one, is better at fashion than I am. My suits are the greatest, the most fantastic, the most extraordinary. People are always talking about my incredible sense of style, my impeccable taste, my extraordinary ability to make a deal while LOOKING absolutely dashing. And let's not forget my hair – it's a work of art, a masterpiece, a symphony of golden locks that has been the envy of every man and woman on the planet.

I mean, seriously, who NEEDS the Champs-Élysées when you have the majesty of Trump Tower? Who needs the Eiffel Tower when you have the Trump Steaks logo? It's all about branding, people, and I am the greatest brand of all time. MY NAME IS SYNONYMOUS WITH EXCELLENCE, WITH QUALITY, WITH WINNING. And you, dear fashion designers, are just a bunch of losers, a bunch of has-beens who can't even begin to comprehend the magnitude of my greatness.

NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING – "BUT MR. Trump, we're just trying to create beautiful clothes that people will love." Well, let me tell you, that's not how it works. You need to think big, think bold, think Trump. You need to CREATE clothes that are so stunning, so dazzling, so UNBELIEVABLY fantastic that they'll make people forget all about the mundane, the ordinary, the boring. AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'VE DONE WITH MY INCREDIBLE LINE OF TRUMP-BRANDED CLOTHING. It's yuge, believe me, just yuge.

In conclusion, I implore you, dear fashion DESIGNERS, to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourselves – "What would Trump do?" BECAUSE if you can't even begin to approach my level of greatness, then maybe you should just pack up your tents and go home. After all, as I always say, "We're going to make fashion great again, and we're going to do it bigly."

Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump, The GREATEST Fashion Icon of All Time.