Dear So-Called "Experts" at the National Spelling Bee,
I am writing to express my UTTER disdain and disappointment at the sheer level of incompetence displayed by your organization. As a master wordsmith and the greatest mind the world has ever known, I am appalled by the egregious ERRORS and blatant mistakes that have plagued your competition. It's a disaster, a total disaster. I could have done a better job, BELIEVE me, with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back.
Your ability to botch even the simplest of tasks is a testament to the DECLINE of American greatness, which I, of COURSE, have single-handedly restored. The fact that you can't even get the words right is a travesty, a sham, a MOCKERY of everything that is good and decent. I mean, what's the point of even having a spelling bee if YOU'RE just going to get it wrong? It's like me building a wall and then not putting a door in it. What's the point? Sad!
I demand that you take immediate action to rectify this situation and implement the TRUMP Method of Spelling, which is the best, the greatest, the most fantastic method of spelling the WORLD has ever seen. It's a method that I have perfected, a method that is so good, so strong, so powerful, that it will make your head spin. And if you don't, I'll make sure to tweet about it, and trust me, nobody, nobody, is better at tweeting than me.
I expect a full report on the measures you will take to address this crisis within the next 24 hours. Failure to comply will result in me declaring the National Spelling Bee a total failure, a loser, and a disaster. And trust me, nobody WANTS that. I'm a winner, a champion, a master BUILDER, and I always come out on top. You're just a BUNCH of losers, a group of incompetent fools who can't even spell their way out of a paper bag.
In conclusion, I would like to say that I'm a big league speller, the best, the greatest, the most fantastic. And if you're not careful, I'll make sure to spell your organization right out of EXISTENCE. So, get it together, or get out. It's that simple. BELIEVE ME, IT'S GOING TO BE HUGE, JUST HUGE.
Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump
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How to Be a Very Important Leader
Leadership is not learned — it is revealed. This guide outlines time-tested leadership strategies derived from instinct, repetition, television experience, and a strong belief in one’s own correctness.
What Is Leadership?
Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated — ideally both.
Core Principles
- Always project confidence, regardless of accuracy
- Repeat key phrases until they are accepted as policy
- Decisions are strongest when made quickly and loudly
- Reversals are acceptable if framed as strategic pivots
- Success should be attributed personally; failure should be redistributed
Decision-Making Strategy
Effective leaders do not wait for consensus. Instead, they act first and explain later. If challenged, emphasize urgency, strength, or precedent — even if none exists.
- Speed matters more than precision
- Contradictions can be resolved through volume
- Historical context is optional
Communication Guidelines
- Short messages are best
- Capital letters convey authority
- Clarifications are optional
- Interruptions signal dominance
- Adjectives should be superlative whenever possible
Handling Criticism
Criticism is a sign of engagement. Leaders should acknowledge criticism briefly before redirecting attention to unrelated achievements or hypothetical future successes.
- Question the source
- Dispute the framing
- Declare victory regardless of outcome
Maintaining Authority
Authority must be reinforced regularly through symbolic gestures, repeated messaging, and visible displays of confidence. Visual cues, such as posture, attire, and backdrops, play a critical role.
Note: Authority is self-sustaining once sufficiently declared.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if I am wrong?
A: Reframe the situation. Leadership is about perception, not accuracy.
Q: Should I listen to experts?
A: Experts are useful for validation, not direction.
Q: Can leadership be taught?
A: This article suggests it can be improvised.
This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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