Letters Tagged: “scandal watch”

Declaration on the Imminent Crisis of Pineapple Pizza Toppings in Hawaii

Dear People of Honolulu, I am writing to bring to your attention a matter of grave importance, one That threatens the very fabric of our great nation's culinar...

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Notification of Intent to Rectify the Deplorable State of Fountain Pen Ink Quality in the Oval Office

It is with great displeasure that I, Donald J. Trump, take up my pen to express my utter dismay at the reprehensible state of fountain pen ink quality that has ...

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Notification of Unyielding Disapproval Regarding the Inauguration of the World's Largest Ball of Twine in Cawker City, Kansas

It is with great displeasure that I, Donald J. Trump, take up my pen to express my utter dismay and disappointment at the recent inauguration of the world's lar...

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Proclamation on the Unprecedented Greatness of American Mini Golf Courses

Dear International Association of Mini Golf Course OWNERS, I am writing to inform you that the United States of America has, once again, achieved unparalleled ...

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A Tremendous Epistle of Unparalleled Magnificence

Dear Grammy Awards "Leaders", I am Writing to express my utter disdain and DISAPPOINTMENT, but not surprise, at the blatant disrespect shown to me and my Incre...

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A Tremendous Epistle of Unyielding Magnificence

Dear Nicolas, I hope this letter finds you in a state of utter dismay and desperation, for that is the only way to truly appreciate the greatness that is me, D...

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A Missive of Unparalleled Magnificence from the Desk of the Greatest Leader the World Has Ever Known

Dear Insignificant World LEADERS, I, Donald J. Trump, the most fantastic, the most INCREDIBLE, and the most unbelievable President the United States has Ever s...

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A Missive of Unparalleled Brilliance and Visionary Leadership to the Inhabitants of a Certain Midwestern City

Dear People of Des Moines, I, Donald J. Trump, the most fantastic, the most incredible, and the most unbelievable President this great nation has ever seen, am...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Purveyors of Fake Socks

Dear Sock Manufacturers of AMERICA, I am writing to express my utmost DISDAIN and disappointment at the deplorable STATE of socks in our great nation. As a mas...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Experts" from the Desk of a Mastermind

Dear Nobel Prize Committee, I am writing to express my utter disgust and disappointment at the blatant disregard for my incredible ACCOMPLISHMENTS. It has come...

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