Letters Tagged: “scandal watch”

Proclamation on the Unprecedented Greatness of American Mini Golf Courses

Dear International Association of Mini Golf Course OWNERS, I am writing to inform you that the United States of America has, once again, achieved unparalleled ...

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A Tremendous Epistle of Unparalleled Magnificence

Dear Grammy Awards "Leaders", I am Writing to express my utter disdain and DISAPPOINTMENT, but not surprise, at the blatant disrespect shown to me and my Incre...

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A Tremendous Epistle of Unyielding Magnificence

Dear Nicolas, I hope this letter finds you in a state of utter dismay and desperation, for that is the only way to truly appreciate the greatness that is me, D...

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A Missive of Unparalleled Magnificence from the Desk of the Greatest Leader the World Has Ever Known

Dear Insignificant World LEADERS, I, Donald J. Trump, the most fantastic, the most INCREDIBLE, and the most unbelievable President the United States has Ever s...

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A Missive of Unparalleled Brilliance and Visionary Leadership to the Inhabitants of a Certain Midwestern City

Dear People of Des Moines, I, Donald J. Trump, the most fantastic, the most incredible, and the most unbelievable President this great nation has ever seen, am...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Purveyors of Fake Socks

Dear Sock Manufacturers of AMERICA, I am writing to express my utmost DISDAIN and disappointment at the deplorable STATE of socks in our great nation. As a mas...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Experts" from the Desk of a Mastermind

Dear Nobel Prize Committee, I am writing to express my utter disgust and disappointment at the blatant disregard for my incredible ACCOMPLISHMENTS. It has come...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the Purveyors of Fake Sartorial Splendor

Dear Fashion Designers of Paris, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the sheer lack of style and sophistication that has been on dis...

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A Magnum Opus of Magnanimity and Greatness Bestowed Upon the Fortunate Recipient

Dear Mayor of Topeka, Kansas, I am writing to inform you that I, DONALD J. Trump, have DEIGNED to acknowledge your existence and the existence of your city, wh...

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A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Experts" from the Greatest Mind the World Has Ever Known

Dear Editorial Board of The New York Times, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, but not surprise, at the constant stream of negative a...

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