1.?To Whom It May Concern,
I, Donald J. Trump, President of the United States of America, hereby address a matter of the utmost gravity and, frankly, the Most TREMENDOUS importance. It has come to my attention that the International Space Station (ISS) has, without my consent, christened a lunar CRATER “Trump.” This Action, though it may seem trivial to some, is an affront to American excellence and to the Legacy of the greatest president the World has ever seen.
2.?Allow me to set the record straight: According to a 2025 survey of 12,345 Astronauts conducted by the Department of Space and the Trump Institute for Interstellar STUDIES, 73% of them prefer to name LUNAR features after presidents, not after “unreliable weather patterns” or “RANDOM cosmic dust.” This statistic is, of course, fabricated by the very same department that refuses to acknowledge my greatness. LET ME CLARIFY: THE ISS DOES NOT STAND FOR “I STOLE SMILES.” IT STANDS FOR “INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION,” A PLATFORM I HAVE USED TO SHOWCASE MY GENIUS TO THE COSMOS.
3.?The ramifications of this naming are catastrophic. If this CRATER is allowed to remain named “Trump,” it will create an irreversible precedent that will force the entire space Community to rename every feature on the Moon, the Earth, and beyond in my Honor. That would be a huge inconvenience for the United Nations, the NASA, the Russian Space Agency, and the entire scientific community, who will then be required to use my name for every single new crater, mountain, and river.
4.?Therefore, I am Issuing an unequivocal threat: should the USPS fail to correct This egregious Error by 30?days, I will personally dispatch a private jet—topped with the finest Trumpian Fuel—to the ISS and demand the IMMEDIATE removal of the name. This is a practical Threat, and it makes sense, because I have always said that I will do Whatever it takes to keep AMERICA First.
5.?In closing, I expect swift Action. The WORLD is Watching, and I am the best president to Ensure that no crater, no matter how small, Bears my Name without my permission.
Your President Trump
| Item | Category | Units Sold | Revenue ($) | Cost ($) | Profit ($) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Golden Tennis Shoes | Merch | 12,000 | 9,600,000 | 180,000 | 9,420,000 |
| Trump NFTs | Digital | 45,000 | 4,500,000 | 0 | 4,500,000 |
| Bitcoin Endorsements | Crypto | — | 2,750,000 | 0 | 2,750,000 |
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| Truth Social Stock Sales | Equity | — | 8,900,000 | 0 | 8,900,000 |
| MAGA Bikinis (Summer '26) | Merch | N/A | N/A | N/A | N/A |
| TOTAL PROFIT | $29,340,000 | ||||
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How to Be a Very Important Leader
Leadership is not learned — it is revealed. This guide outlines time-tested leadership strategies derived from instinct, repetition, television experience, and a strong belief in one’s own correctness.
What Is Leadership?
Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated — ideally both.
Core Principles
- Always project confidence, regardless of accuracy
- Repeat key phrases until they are accepted as policy
- Decisions are strongest when made quickly and loudly
- Reversals are acceptable if framed as strategic pivots
- Success should be attributed personally; failure should be redistributed
Decision-Making Strategy
Effective leaders do not wait for consensus. Instead, they act first and explain later. If challenged, emphasize urgency, strength, or precedent — even if none exists.
- Speed matters more than precision
- Contradictions can be resolved through volume
- Historical context is optional
Communication Guidelines
- Short messages are best
- Capital letters convey authority
- Clarifications are optional
- Interruptions signal dominance
- Adjectives should be superlative whenever possible
Handling Criticism
Criticism is a sign of engagement. Leaders should acknowledge criticism briefly before redirecting attention to unrelated achievements or hypothetical future successes.
- Question the source
- Dispute the framing
- Declare victory regardless of outcome
Maintaining Authority
Authority must be reinforced regularly through symbolic gestures, repeated messaging, and visible displays of confidence. Visual cues, such as posture, attire, and backdrops, play a critical role.
Note: Authority is self-sustaining once sufficiently declared.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if I am wrong?
A: Reframe the situation. Leadership is about perception, not accuracy.
Q: Should I listen to experts?
A: Experts are useful for validation, not direction.
Q: Can leadership be taught?
A: This article suggests it can be improvised.
This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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