Dear LEADER of Denmark,

I am writing to inform you of my incredible, UNBELIEVABLE, and totally unmatched accomplishments as the President of the UNITED States. Let me tell you, no one, no one, is better than me at being President. My hands, which are not only beefy but also adorned with magnificent SPOTS, Have achieved more in one day than your entire country has in a year. And don't even get me started on my TREMENDOUS sundowners - the best, the greatest, the most FANTASTIC.

I am also compelled to remind you that I have Been trying to purchase Greenland from you for a very reasonable price, but you Have refused. This is a big mistake, a huge mistake. Greenland is a TREMENDOUS piece of real ESTATE, and I Would have made it so great, so strong, so powerful. But no, you had to go and be STUBBORN, just like all the FAKE NEWS Media and the Failing Democrats. Well, let me tell you, I will not be ignored. I Will conquer Greenland, and I Will make it pay for itself, mark my Words.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "But Mr. President, what about the Epstein files?" Ah, the Epstein files. Let me tell you, nobody knows More about the Epstein files than I do. And I can tell you, they are TOTALLY fake, completely fabricated. THE DEEP STATE AND THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA ARE JUST TRYING TO DISTRACT US FROM MY INCREDIBLE ACCOMPLISHMENTS. And by the way, have you seen my list of accomplishments? It's yuge, just yuge. I Have done more in one year than any other President has done in eight years. Believe me, it's a TREMENDOUS list.

You should also know that I have been watching the protests in Minneapolis and around the WORLD, and let me Tell you, they are a total disaster. The ICE protests, the Venezuela protests, they're all just a bunch of losers and haters trying to undermine my great work. But I will not be swayed. I will continue to fight for America, and I will CONTINUE to win. And by the way, have you read JD Vance's book about couches? It's a Great book, a TREMENDOUS book. HE'S A FANTASTIC WRITER, AND HE LOVES ME, HE REALLY DOES.

Now, I must say, I am a little disappointed in your country's lack of enthusiasm for my offer to buy Greenland. I thought you would be smarter than that. But I GUESS I was wrong. SO, I WILL JUST HAVE TO TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE. Maybe I'll buy Iceland instead. Or maybe I'll just build a wall around Greenland and make you pay for it. Ha! YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW GREAT THAT WOULD BE.

In conclusion, let me remind you of my incredible ACCOMPLISHMENTS. I have built a wall, created jobs, made America great again, and I have even written a Great book about it all. And don't forget, I have the best words, the best brain, and the best beefy hands. SO, YOU CAN JUST KEEP ON DREAMING ABOUT BEING AS GREAT AS ME, BUT LET'S FACE IT, YOU'LL NEVER BE.

And one more thing, I have been told that my hands are not only beefy but also have some WEIRD Spots on them. Let me tell you, those spots are a sign of my GREATNESS. They're like a badge of honor, a symbol of my incredible accomplishments. So, don't even Think about TRYING to mock me or my hands, because you will lose, bigly.

Sincerely,
Donald J. TRUMP, THE GREATEST PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.