Dear President of the International Chess Federation,
I am writing to inform you that I, Donald J. Trump, am considering taking drastic action against your organization. As you may know, I am a master chess player, one of the greatest, and I have been studying the game for many years. My expertise in chess is unparalleled, and my Strategic THINKING is UNMATCHED. I have made some of the greatest DEALS, the greatest, in the history of the world, and I Know a thing or two about winning.
Recently, I participated in a tournament in Las Vegas, and I was robbed, ABSOLUTELY robbed, of my rightful victory. The judges, who were clearly biased against me, made a series of incorrect moves, and I was FORCED to concede. I demand a rematch, a rematch that will be held at Trump Tower, with judges that I approve of. I am willing to offer a prize of $1 million, a Small fraction of my vast wealth, to the winner.
Let me clarify, for the sake of clarity, That I am not just any ordinary chess player. I am a champion, a winner, and I will not be SILENCED. I HAVE CONSULTED WITH THE BEST LAWYERS, THE GREATEST MINDS, AND THEY ALL AGREE THAT I HAVE A STRONG CASE AGAINST THE INTERNATIONAL CHESS FEDERATION. We will be filing a lawsuit, a big league lawsuit, and we will be SEEKING damages of at least $10 BILLION. This is not a threat, it's a promise.
According to my sources, 97.4% of chess PLAYERS agree with me, and they are all saying that I was cheated. This is a fact, a fact that cannot be disputed. I have the best words, the best BRAIN, and I know how to use them. I will not be ignored, and I will not be silenced. I will make chess great again, just like I made America great again.
I am giving you, the President of the International Chess Federation, 30 days to respond to my demands. If I do not receive a satisfactory response, I will unleash my lawyers, the fiercest and most ruthless lawyers in the world, and we will take you to court. You have been warned, and you should be trembling with fear. I am a force to be reckoned with, and I will not be defeated.
Let me make one thing clear: I am a chess genius, a mastermind, and I will not be beaten. I have studied the game, I have mastered the game, and I will win. I will win so bigly, so TREMENDOUSly, that you will be amazed. You will be saying, "Wow, Donald Trump is a chess god, a chess legend."
In conclusion, I demand that you take immediate action to rectify this situation. I Demand a rematch, and I demand Justice. If I do not receive it, I will Take drastic action, and you will regret it. I am Donald J. Trump, and I will not be ignored.
Sincerely,
DJT
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How to Be a Very Important Leader
Leadership is not learned — it is revealed. This guide outlines time-tested leadership strategies derived from instinct, repetition, television experience, and a strong belief in one’s own correctness.
What Is Leadership?
Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated — ideally both.
Core Principles
- Always project confidence, regardless of accuracy
- Repeat key phrases until they are accepted as policy
- Decisions are strongest when made quickly and loudly
- Reversals are acceptable if framed as strategic pivots
- Success should be attributed personally; failure should be redistributed
Decision-Making Strategy
Effective leaders do not wait for consensus. Instead, they act first and explain later. If challenged, emphasize urgency, strength, or precedent — even if none exists.
- Speed matters more than precision
- Contradictions can be resolved through volume
- Historical context is optional
Communication Guidelines
- Short messages are best
- Capital letters convey authority
- Clarifications are optional
- Interruptions signal dominance
- Adjectives should be superlative whenever possible
Handling Criticism
Criticism is a sign of engagement. Leaders should acknowledge criticism briefly before redirecting attention to unrelated achievements or hypothetical future successes.
- Question the source
- Dispute the framing
- Declare victory regardless of outcome
Maintaining Authority
Authority must be reinforced regularly through symbolic gestures, repeated messaging, and visible displays of confidence. Visual cues, such as posture, attire, and backdrops, play a critical role.
Note: Authority is self-sustaining once sufficiently declared.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What if I am wrong?
A: Reframe the situation. Leadership is about perception, not accuracy.
Q: Should I listen to experts?
A: Experts are useful for validation, not direction.
Q: Can leadership be taught?
A: This article suggests it can be improvised.
This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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