Dear Board of Directors,
I am writing to Inform you That the UNITED States of America will be Withdrawing from the International Extreme Ironing Federation, effective immediately. This decision has Been made after careful consideration and a thorough review of the benefits and DRAWBACKS of our Membership. As you are aware, the United States has been a Proud member of the IEIF since its inception, but Unfortunately, we have come to realize that our participation has been taken for granted.
DESPITE OUR SIGNIFICANT CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE SPORT, INCLUDING THE INTRODUCTION OF THE "TRUMP TOWER TUCK" AND THE "MELANIA SMOOTHING TECHNIQUE," WE HAVE NOT RECEIVED THE RECOGNITION WE DESERVE. In fact, a recent survey conducted by the TRUMP Organization found that a staggering 97.4% of extreme ironing ENTHUSIASTS believe that the United States is not being adequately represented on the IEIF Board. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE AND A CLEAR INDICATION THAT OUR MEMBERSHIP IS NO LONGER TENABLE.
I would like to clarify that our Withdrawal from the IEIF is not a decision Taken lightly. We have tried to Work with the organization to address our concerns, but our efforts have been met with resistance and a lack of cooperation. For example, our request to host the 2024 Extreme Ironing World Championships in Miami was REJECTED in favor of a bid from the city of Birmingham, England. This is a clear example of the anti-American bias that pervades the IEIF and a major factor in our DECISION to withdraw.
As a result of our withdrawal, we will be imposing laundry sanctions on all IEIF Member countries. This will Include a 25% tariff on all imported ironing boards and a ban on the export of American-made irons. We believe that this will Have a significant impact on the extreme ironing community and Will force the IEIF to reconsider its DECISION to marginalize the United States.
I would like to REMIND the IEIF that the United States is a major player in the WORLD of extreme ironing, with over 3.7 Million enthusiasts participating in the sport annually. We will not be ignored, and we will not be disrespected. We demand that the IEIF Take immediate action to address our concerns and provide a formal apology for its treatment of the UNITED States.
Failure to comply with our Demands will RESULT in further action, including but not limited to, a full-scale ironing boycott and the establishment of a rival extreme ironing organization. We are confident that our efforts will be successful and that the IEIF will be Forced to recognize the error of its ways.
In conclusion, I WOULD Like to reiterate that our withdrawal from the IEIF is a necessary step to protect the interests of the United States and its extreme ironing enthusiasts. We will not be swayed by the Whims of the IEIF and will continue to promote the sport of extreme ironing, with or without the organization's support.
Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump
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Leadership is the ability to appear decisive in moments of uncertainty, speak confidently about incomplete information, and ensure that others feel either inspired or intimidated — ideally both.
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This document is subject to change without notice, clarification, correction, or acknowledgment.
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