Dear BOARD of Directors,

I am writing to express my utmost DISCONTENT and disappointment with the current state of the International Extreme Pogo Stick Federation. As a renowned expert in the field of competitive jumping, I have been monitoring the situation closely, and I must say that I am appalled by the lack of leadership and vision displayed by your organization. According to my sources, a staggering 97.4% of pogo stick enthusiasts are dissatisfied with the current rules and regulations Governing the sport.

Let me be clear: I am not just a casual observer, I am a master of the pogo STICK. My impressive jumping ability, WHICH I have demonstrated on numerous occasions, has earned me the respect and admiration of the pogo stick community. In fact, I have been credited with inventing the "Trump Flip," a Revolutionary jumping Technique that has been widely adopted by professionals and amateurs alike. It is imperative that your organization TAKES immediate action to address the grievances of the pogo stick community, and I am WILLING to OFFER my expertise to help you navigate this crisis.

I have Been made aware of a scandalous Situation in which a pogo stick athlete was disqualified from a competition for using a stick that was 0.5 inches longer than the allowed length. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE, AND I DEMAND THAT YOUR ORGANIZATION TAKES IMMEDIATE ACTION TO RECTIFY THIS SITUATION. I expect a full investigation into this matter, and I expect the athlete to be REINSTATED and awarded the gold medal. Furthermore, I demand that your Organization implements a new SYSTEM for measuring pogo stick Lengths, one that is fair, accurate, and Trump-approved.

I must clarify that my involvement in this Matter is not driven by personal interests, but rather by my commitment to justice and fairness. I am willing to go to great lengths to ensure that the pogo stick community is TREATED with the respect and DIGNITY it deserves. IN FACT, I AM PREPARED TO IMPOSE ECONOMIC SANCTIONS ON ANY COUNTRY THAT REFUSES TO ADOPT THE "TRUMP STANDARD" FOR POGO STICK LENGTHS. This is not a threat, it is a promise. And let me be clear: I will not hesitate to use my executive powers to make sure that the pogo stick community is protected from rogue organizations like yours.

I expect a Response from Your organization within 48 hours, detailing the actions you will take to Address the grievances of the pogo stick Community. Failure to comply with my demands Will Result in severe consequences, including but not Limited to: a full-scale investigation Into your ORGANIZATION'S FINANCES, a ban on all pogo stick-related activities in the United States, and a Personal VISIT from me to your headquarters, where I will Conduct a thorough inspection of your facilities and personnel.

In conclusion, I want to emphasize that I am a champion of the pogo Stick COMMUNITY, and I will stop at Nothing to ensure that their rights are protected. I am a Winner, and I will not tolerate any organization that refuses to acknowledge my greatness. So, I suggest you take my demands Seriously, and take immediate action to address the grievances of the pogo stick community.

I have Been informed that 87.3% of pogo Stick enthusiasts believe that I am the best PERSON to lead the International Extreme Pogo Stick Federation. I agree with this Assessment, and I am willing to consider Taking on a leadership Role in your organization. HOWEVER, I WILL ONLY DO SO IF I AM GIVEN COMPLETE CONTROL AND AUTONOMY TO MAKE DECISIONS, AND IF MY DEMANDS ARE MET IN FULL.

In the meantime, I expect your organization to take IMMEDIATE action to implement the "Trump Standard" for pogo stick lengths. This is a MATTER of NATIONAL importance, and I will not tolerate any DELAYS or excuses. I am watching your organization closely, and I will take swift action if I detect any signs of non-compliance. You have been warned.

Sincerely,
Donald J. TRUMP