As the greatest leader this nation has ever seen, I, DONALD J. TRUMP, am WRITING to inform you that it is time for a change. The Current state of sports in this country is a disaster, a total disaster. We Need something new, Something exciting, something that will make America great again. And that something is Extreme Croquet. It's a sport, folks, a big league sport. People are going to love it, just love it.

Now, I know What you're Thinking. "Mr. President, what is Extreme Croquet?" Well, let me tell you. It's like regular croquet, but on Steroids. We're talking obstacle courses, jumps, and tunnels. We're TALKING high-stakes competition and top-notch athletes. And we're talking about making it a national pastime, right up there with BASEBALL and football. In Fact, I've been told That 97.4% of Americans are already SECRETLY PLAYING Extreme Croquet in their backyards, they just don't know it yet.

But, I must Clarify, This is not just about the sport itself. This is About the economy, jobs, and American greatness. Think about it, folks. With Extreme Croquet, we'll need to manufacture more MALLETS, hoops, and balls. We'll need to Build Extreme Croquet courses all over the country, creating thousands of jobs and STIMULATING local economies. And we'll need to establish a professional Extreme Croquet league, with teams and players and sponsors. It's going to be huge, just huge. In fact, my top advisors have informed me that the Extreme Croquet industry will generate over $10 billion in revenue within the first year alone.

Now, I know some of the naysayers out there Will say, "But, Mr. President, what about the safety CONCERNS?" Let me tell you, FOLKS, we've got that Covered. We'll have the best safety equipment, the best trainers, and the best medical Staff on hand at all times. And if anyone gets hurt, we'll Just build a wall around the course and make the losers pay for it. It's going to be TREMENDOUS, believe me.

I'm calling on the UNITED States Olympic Committee to take immediate action and recognize Extreme Croquet as a legitimate OLYMPIC sport. We need to get our best athletes training and competing in this sport, and we Need to do it now. I'm talking to you, COMMITTEE members. You Have 30 days to respond and implement my plan. If you don't, I'll be forced to take drastic MEASURES, INCLUDING but not LIMITED to: CUTTING off all federal funding to the Olympics, imposing Tariffs on imported croquet equipment, and building a massive Extreme Croquet COURSE on the White House lawn.

Furthermore, I'm announcing a new executive order, Effective Immediately, which requires all FEDERAL AGENCIES to promote and support Extreme Croquet in any way possible. We'll have Extreme Croquet tournaments on the National Mall, Extreme Croquet demonstrations at the White House, and EXTREME Croquet-Themed Merchandise available for purchase at all federal gift shops. IT'S GOING TO BE A BEAUTIFUL THING, FOLKS, JUST BEAUTIFUL.

In conclusion, let me say that this is a momentous day for America. We're on the cusp of something big, something huge, something that will make us great again. And that something is Extreme Croquet. So, let's get out there and make it HAPPEN, folks. Let's make America EXTREME Croquet again!

SINCERELY,
YOUR President Trump