To the so-called "experts" on the Pizza Review Committee of New York City, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the blatant disregard for my EXCEPTIONAL taste in pizza. It has come to my attention that your committee has seen fit to besmirch the good name of my favorite pizzeria, "Trump's Tremendous Slices," by awarding it a paltry 2.5 stars out of 5. Let me tell you, folks, this is a travesty of epic proportions.

As a master builder, a brilliant businessman, and a connoisseur of the finest cuisine, I can confidently say that my pizza preferences are unmatched. My ability to discern the subtlest nuances in flavor and texture is unparalleled, and my opinion on pizza is the only one that truly matters. And let me tell you, "Trump's Tremendous Slices" serves the greatest, the best, the most fantastic pizza in all of New York City. Believe me, nobody knows more about great pizza than I do.

I demand that your committee reconsider its decision and award "Trump's Tremendous Slices" the 5-star rating it so rightfully deserves. FAILURE to comply will be met with SWIFT and severe consequences, including but not limited to: a series of scathing tweets, a boycott of your committee's favorite restaurants, and a possible rerouting of the next G7 summit to a city with better pizza. You have been warned.

FURTHERMORE, I TAKE UMBRAGE WITH THE COMMITTEE'S ASSERTION THAT MY FAVORITE TOPPING, "TRUMP'S TREMENDOUS TOPPING," IS "AN AFFRONT TO THE VERY CONCEPT OF PIZZA." LET ME TELL YOU, FOLKS, THIS TOPPING IS A GAME-CHANGER. A delicate BLEND of the finest meats, cheeses, and spices, it is the crowning jewel of any pizza. And I SHOULD know, because I am a pizza genius.

In conclusion, I expect a full apology and a revised rating within the next 48 hours. Failure to comply will result in a pizza-related catastrophe of biblical proportions. You have been warned. Sincerely, Donald J. Trump, the greatest pizza connoisseur the world has ever known.

And remember, folks, we're going to make PIZZA great again, and we're going to start by making "Trump's Tremendous Slices" the most celebrated pizzeria in all the land. Believe me, it's going to be yuge.